After school, I usually hang out with my friends, unless they ask me if I want to do drugs. Then I say, "I like you, but I don't like drugs. Let's do long division instead!" That usually cures my problem of having any friends.

The other day me and Georgie were playing golf over by the scary old mineshaft and he said he thought he saw a ghost. I told him they weren't real, and he got this weird look in his eyes and said "Oh, they're real. They're real, all right. You'll find out soon enough."