I still have to groom dad's feet to earn my allowance, and I usually blow it on comic books and bubble gum. My favorite comic right now is Legendary Leonardo Mack and the Insectoid Aliens -- I couldn't believe the cliffhanger at the end of the last issue!

There's this totally cute new girl at school! Her name is Peyton Thornton and she's fantastic. I mean, she's a little weird; her mom packs her these gross organic lunches, and if she even smells a peanut, she gets all swollen and has to lie down, but she's still awesome. I wonder if she's into remixing wool hats? I dunno. How do you talk to girls?