After school today, I went down to the corner store to buy some Whirling Radish Bars and the new issue of The Startling Tales of Ryan Danger vs. the Insectoid Invaders, but it turned out I didn't have any money! Mom won't give me an advance on my allowance unless I mop the rabbits. Rats.

So my friend Johnny Lang totally has a girlfriend now, and he said if she ever shows him her boobs, he'll tell me all about it. In detail. I guess that'll have to do until I get a girlfriend of my own. I've got my eye on Annie Garcia, so we'll see what happens when I make my move.