It must be real exciting to get to fight ogres and monsters all the time! I've only ever seen one ogre -- Mr. Blankenship, my Geography teacher. He's got a big pot belly and snaggly teeth and hair growing out of his ears and he's real grumpy all the time, so I'm pretty sure he's an ogre. He made me stay after class and laminate the blackboard because I couldn't remember the name of some dumb river. If you're ever in town, I'll find out where he lives so you can hit him with your sword. That'll teach him! Ha ha ha, see what I did there?

I just started an afterschool swimming program. Every other day, we do the heatstroke for at least a half an hour. I don't mind it much, except I wish we'd do it in a pool, not a swamp. Though I guess the vicious alligators are good motivation to swim fast! I've already lost 15 candygrams! Not sure how much that is in whatever weight unit you guys use.

I just got a new pet boa constrictor! I named it Snugglesworth. Mom says I can keep him if I look after him and exfoliate him every day. She said if I get sick of him, she knows a really nice farm where he can go and live, so there's really no pressure.