Mom kept pestering me to sweep the dishes while I was playing Evil Warfare 2 today. I tried to tell her I was in the middle of a boss fight, but she made me do it anyway. She said "If your best friend jumped off a cliff, the mice will play." I have no idea what she's talking about when she says stuff like that. Sometimes I wonder if I'm adopted.

So my friend Matty McDonald totally has a girlfriend now, and he said if she ever shows him her boobs, he'll tell me all about it. In detail. I guess that'll have to do until I get a girlfriend of my own. I've got my eye on Emily Brown, so we'll see what happens when I make my move.