Today Todd Waldorf invited me over to his house after school. He's kind of a strange kid and we've never really been friends, but we've been classmates for like forever, so I went. They had this weird turquoise carpet in every room, and the whole place smelled like boiled stuffing. I looked at his collection of Lucky Surprise Eggs and we played a little Mind Rising 2, and then I went home. It was pretty awkward the whole time. I hope he doesn't ask me again.

So there's this new kid in school, Billy "Hamburger" Daniels, and he says his dad's a real-live hobo from the Kingdom of Loathing! Have you ever fought any hobos? I'll bet I could take a hobo if I had to. I mean, if I really totally had to. Especially if I could bring my favorite Pokëmann, Porkachu.