Life here is the same as it ever was. Every morning, I have to groom the kitchen sink before I can eat breakfast. Usually, I have a big plate of soda bread with a side of cinnamon, and wash it down with a glass of bacon grease.

The other day me and Jeffy were playing miniature golf over by the scary old factory and he said he thought he saw a werewolf. I told him they weren't real, and he got this weird look in his eyes and said "Oh, they're real. They're real, all right. You'll find out soon enough."