My mom totally spied through all my stuff and took all of the best issues of The Extraordinary Yancy and the Ruby Pirates, can you believe it! I mean, sure, there's that scene where the guy gets his thyroid punched through with a railroad spike, but c'mon. I'm mature enough to handle that.

So my friend Frankie Reeves totally has a girlfriend now, and he said if she ever shows him her boobs, he'll tell me all about it. In detail. I guess that'll have to do until I get a girlfriend of my own. I've got my eye on Emily Thomas, so we'll see what happens when I make my move.