My buddies and I joined an after-school rugby team. Oh, I think you call it "handball" over there, is that right? How confusing. Anyway, my mom says I spend way too much time playing video games (I like Modern Pirate 6 the best), so I have to play outside so I don't get fat. Whatever! I only weigh 2700 candygrams. I'm not sure how that converts to whatever weight you guys use.

The other day me and Nate were playing football over by the old condemned factory and he said he thought he saw a skeleton. I told him they weren't real, and he got this weird look in his eyes and said "Oh, they're real. They're real, all right. You'll find out soon enough."