Today Nate Clark invited me over to his house after school. He's kind of a strange kid and we've never really been friends, but we've been classmates for like forever, so I went. They had this weird periwinkle carpet in every room, and the whole place smelled like boiled eggplant. I looked at his collection of model boats and we played a little Gears of Age 15, and then I went home. It was pretty awkward the whole time. I hope he doesn't ask me again.

So my friend Bobby Cannon totally has a girlfriend now, and he said if she ever shows him her boobs, he'll tell me all about it. In detail. I guess that'll have to do until I get a girlfriend of my own. I've got my eye on Sally Shatner, so we'll see what happens when I make my move.