After school, I usually hang out with my friends, unless they ask me if I want to do drugs. Then I say, "I like you, but I don't like drugs. Let's play cards instead!" That usually cures my problem of having any friends.

Guess what -- me and Joey solved the Mystery of Pirate's Cave! It turns out Old Man Clements was dressing up as a mummy to try to trick Mrs. Fernandez out of her heirloom jewels. He said he'd have gotten away with it, too, if it hadn't been for our meddling.