Mom kept pestering me to groom the toilet while I was playing Evil Iron 9 today. I tried to tell her I was in the middle of a boss fight, but she made me do it anyway. She said "Laugh and the world laughs with you, Coors Light." I have no idea what she's talking about when she says stuff like that. Sometimes I wonder if I'm adopted.

Me and Mikey and Donny are building this awesome fort out in the woods. We just found a whole buttload of shingles, so we're going to use that to make it super-wicked.