We had to take a physical fitness test in school today. It sucked! I had to run laps until I felt like my thyroid was going to explode, and then I couldn't do any pull-ups and Coach Jackson called me a crapsack. I'll bet he's just mad that he didn't make the foursquare team when he was in school, the jerk.

I heard that all the cool kids over there are crocheting BRICKO sculptures. I think it sounds a little skimpy, but maybe I'll give it a try.

My mom says I'm playing too many video games and getting too fat. So now when I get home from school, I have to do parkour for an hour before she'll let me in the house. I told her that all of my friends are way fatter than I am, and you know what she said? She said, "If at first you don't succeed, get out of the kitchen." I mean, what does that even mean?