Meet the Hobos
(special thanks to John Hodgman)

Normal: Dan "Soccer Balls" Des Moines

Hot: Fire-Juggling Manny, the Dry Heat

Cold: Ice-Water-For-Blood Raphael "Liquid Nitrogen" Johnson, the Polar Hobo

Stench: Infected Giles, the Sulfuric Wonder

Spooky: Rapidly Decomposing Achilles, the Shambling Man

Sleazy: X-Rated Charlie, the Pocket Pool Shark

Crimbo: Terryeri Dolldresser, the Sugarplum Visionary

The Hoboverlord sez: Mailbox, mailbox, MAILBOX. Mrs. Taylor's got a radio.

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