Meet the Hobos
(special thanks to John Hodgman)

Normal: R. T. "Fast Fingers" Shafer, the Waterproof Man

Hot: Stevie "Smolderin' Doug" Robinson, the Felonious Firebrand

Cold: Noam "Black Ice" Franklin

Stench: Caboose-Fouling Ogilvy Young, the Filthy

Spooky: Coffin-Breath James Simon

Sleazy: Peepshow Jethro King

Crimbo: Lewisorm "Candy Cane" Stockingstuffer

The Hoboverlord sez: I'm looking FOR Old Man Westinghouse. Don't tell Jim Madison.

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