Meet the Hobos
(special thanks to John Hodgman)

Normal: Leonard "Petunia" Washington

Hot: Smokin' Horus Lewis, the Magmagician

Cold: Glacial Horace, the Arctic Circular

Stench: Necrotic-Limb Dunstan Thompson, the Dumpster Sleeper

Spooky: Barney White, the Hobo Who Wants Your Delicious Brains

Sleazy: Dmitry "Greasy Ponytail" Noriega

Crimbo: Reindeer-Taunting Stingroth Giftwrapper, the Festively Festooned

The Hoboverlord sez: Breakfast? Shhhhhh... Are you The POPE?

Generate some more