Meet the Hobos
(special thanks to John Hodgman)

Normal: Glue-Sniffin' Jake "Salami Hog" Brown, the Expert Dreamweaver

Hot: Yancy "The Back Burner" Garfunkel

Cold: Shane Isaacson, the Shiverin' Shanker

Stench: Rotting Fruit Lonnie "Things That Smell Bad" Buck

Spooky: Bad Dream Opie "Soulless" Thomas

Sleazy: Panting Meriadoc "Too Much Information" Roosevelt

Crimbo: Candy-Cane-Suckin' Romeoron "Feast of Stephen" Taffypuller, the Nut Cracker

The Hoboverlord sez: Where's my toast? How many statues.

Generate some more