Meet the Hobos
(special thanks to John Hodgman)

Normal: Newton "Salami Hog" Shannahan

Hot: Wilbur "Firebird" Haggard, the Red-Hot Poker

Cold: Jacky "Bluelips" Haggard, the Polar Ice Capped

Stench: Stinky Ol' Mikhail, the Human Stinkbomb

Spooky: Reasonably Frightening Gavin Stemple

Sleazy: Stitch Hall, the Suggestive Winker

Crimbo: Lewision Treetrimmer, the White Crimbo Dreamer

The Hoboverlord sez: Which banana? Tell me which banana. Clubs. CLUBS in... the... TRAIN.

Generate some more