Meet the Hobos
(special thanks to John Hodgman)

Normal: Wemberly Taylor, the Train-Oyster

Hot: Steam-Powered Tucker Sullivan

Cold: Abominable Davenport, the Arctic Circular

Stench: Thad "Sir Reeksalot" Pennington

Spooky: Claudius "Old Scratch" Cartwright

Sleazy: R. J. "Sweaty-Palms" Lee

Crimbo: Ferrisras "Gumdrop" Giftwrapper

The Hoboverlord sez: Shhhhhh... Have... you... seen Napoleon? Can't find it. Can't find... the lamp.

Generate some more