Meet the Hobos
(special thanks to John Hodgman)

Normal: Uther "Casters on Crutches" Rutgers, the Train-Oyster

Hot: Leonard "Blaze" Harris

Cold: Fresh-From-The-Refrigerator Kenny, the Alabama Iceberg

Stench: Stinky Max, the Man Who Should Probably Change His Underwear, Like, Now

Spooky: Zombified Bill Stipe, the Hobo of the Shadow of Death

Sleazy: Heavy-Breathing Leroy, the Balding Guy with a Greasy Ponytail

Crimbo: Virgilroth Sleighbeller, the Nut Cracker

The Hoboverlord sez: Hmmmmmmm... Remember the egg? Pinch the train, PINCH the train. Tell me...

Generate some more