Meet the Hobos
(special thanks to John Hodgman)

Normal: Max Zevon, the Many-Bearded

Hot: Scalding Romeo Benedict

Cold: R. J. "Frozenfoot" Mott

Stench: Cal "Potent Joe" Jones

Spooky: Raph "Goosepimples" Stemple

Sleazy: Nude Mark, the Cameraphone Panty-shot Taker

Crimbo: Zaxxonellas "Two Front Teeth" Turkeybaster, the Snowman Builder

The Hoboverlord sez: Watch... the egg? Grumble... Are you Mr. Rutgers?

Generate some more