Meet the Hobos
(special thanks to John Hodgman)

Normal: Tennessee Mark O'Sullivan

Hot: Flame-Throwin' Achilles O'Mally, the Cigar-Butt-Flicker

Cold: Cold Shoulders Walter Nicholson, the Hobo-Shaped Ice Sculpture

Stench: J. R. "Only One Pair of Socks" Steadwick

Spooky: Boris "Lich Licker" Mott

Sleazy: Sting Harrison, the Guy Your Parents Were Specifically Referring To When They Said Not To Talk To Strangers

Crimbo: Candy-Cane-Suckin' Fritzras, the Merry Gentleman

The Hoboverlord sez: Bananas. BANANAS in the trolley. HOW many porch swings.

Generate some more