Meet the Hobos
(special thanks to John Hodgman)

Normal: Vinnie Durden, the Merovingian

Hot: Scorched-Earth Aldous Stemple

Cold: B. J. Huxtable, the Human Icebox

Stench: Nasty-Smellin' Ed Walker

Spooky: Two-Feet-in-the-Grave Mick, the Hobo Who Goes Bump in the Night

Sleazy: Martin "Speedo" Khan, the Ogler

Crimbo: Jinglin' Ogilvywen Taffypuller, the Festively Festooned

The Hoboverlord sez: Can't find it. Can't find the toast. Don't be a bench.

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