Meet the Hobos
(special thanks to John Hodgman)

Normal: Self-Taught-Guitarist Morris "Sunken Treasure" Smith, the Star-Traveler

Hot: Monk "Acetylene" Thompson

Cold: Polar Pete Walker

Stench: Louis "Smelly" Sanford

Spooky: Chrysler "Graverobber" Lee, the Autopsist

Sleazy: Bert "Small Hands" Washington

Crimbo: Tinsel-Strewn Daddyrod, the Mistletoe Bandit

The Hoboverlord sez: Brrrrr... Little Sister, Little Sister, play... the tables. Gotta play with THE... desk.

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