Meet the Hobos
(special thanks to John Hodgman)

Normal: Honeypalms Reynaldo "Spider" Harris, the Trainyard Aristotle

Hot: Scorched-Earth Giancarlo "The Flaming Kebab" Bush, the Human Flamethrower

Cold: Alvin Buck, the Hobo Who Looks a Bit Like a Penguin

Stench: Outhouse Vincent Spitzner

Spooky: Agamemnon Spitzner, the Hobo Who Wants Your Delicious Brains

Sleazy: Perry "Sweaty-Palms" Hernandez

Crimbo: Arthurien Tinselstringer, the White Crimbo Dreamer

The Hoboverlord sez: Mama, Mama, play the... pastry. Psssst... Watch out!... Old Man O'Reilly?

Generate some more