Meet the Hobos
(special thanks to John Hodgman)

Normal: Nettles "Spider" Bush

Hot: Newton Woodward, the Guy Who Causes a Temperature-Related Desire to Remove All of One's Clothing

Cold: Chilly Riff "Brainfreeze" Haggard, the Snowball-Tosser

Stench: Rotten-Eggs Diego, the Man Who Should Probably Change His Socks

Spooky: Uncanny-Valley Achilles Peterson

Sleazy: Gropin' Dan Martin, the Face Licker

Crimbo: Round Yon Ogilvyorm Toypacker, the Decorator

The Hoboverlord sez: Too MANY breakfasts. Papa gave... me a window once. Hmmmmmmm...

Generate some more