Meet the Hobos
(special thanks to John Hodgman)

Normal: Slow Motion Mitch, the Buddha

Hot: Jack "Magma" Mack

Cold: Ulrich Brooks, the Polar Ice Capped

Stench: Malvolio "Things That Smell Bad" Simon, the Guy Made Entirely Out of Onions Or At Least That's How He Smells

Spooky: Twink O'Reilly, Whose Clothes Are Made out of Suspiciously Pale Leather

Sleazy: Risqué Billy Bob Smith

Crimbo: Vincedir "Chestnutter" Nutcracker

The Hoboverlord sez: Gotta finish the train. Lost the campfires. The Pope's gonna... be mad.

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