Meet the Hobos
(special thanks to John Hodgman)

Normal: Pickled-Noggin Merle Peterson

Hot: Steam Vent Raph, the Heartburn Kid

Cold: Northern Exposure Lou, the Ice Cream of the Future

Stench: Garbage Juice Roy Romero

Spooky: Rigor Mortis Woody "Graverobber" Allen

Sleazy: Single-Entendre Joe Steadwick

Crimbo: Gift-Wrappin' Jethroion Belljingler

The Hoboverlord sez: It's... Miller, Miller is... Tell me... Gotta shake the pork chop.

Generate some more