Meet the Hobos
(special thanks to John Hodgman)

Normal: Theodore "Casters on Crutches" Reagan, the Many-Bearded

Hot: Leonard "Swelterin'" Sullivan, the Sidewalk Egg-Fryer

Cold: Icecubes Gunther, the Freezin' Frenchman

Stench: Outhouse Joey, the Human Paper Mill

Spooky: Scary J. B. Martin, the Guy With Little Mouths Where His Eyes Should Be

Sleazy: Lecherous Tucker, the Wolf-Whistler

Crimbo: Good King Delellas, the Fruity as a Nut Cake

The Hoboverlord sez: Avoid the shirt, avoid the shirt. Mumble... Coats?

Generate some more