| As a child, you exhibited a normal of unusual talents, including the ability to Warp Drive the first day you picked up a yo-yo. So your parents, creeped out by your paranormal abilities, enrolled you in Febreezia Wizard School. Before long, you earned your Tau of Gold and could set out to make your fortune. As luck would have it, you found yourself wandering through the sleepy village of Cowpat just as the village people (you know, the construction worker, the cop, the Indian) were beset by the evil Devil Lord Mephistor, who had poisoned the town's boa constrictor population. Against your better judgment (and with the hope of fat loot to come), you agreed to try and bring the villain to justice. You weren't having any problems until you got your solar plexus caught in a succubus and had to gnaw it off to escape. Fortunately, you don't need that to be a hero... but you will sort of miss it. However, you managed to overcome the odds (and your injuries), and after a lengthy crawl through a ruin infested with dire dwarves, you finally came upon the lair of the Terror Giant Grimtooth, who was guarding the object of your quest. The evil fiend fell before your flail, and the land was finally free of his foul shenanigans. You made your way back to civilization, and basked in the glory of your success (and the reward money).
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