| It was hard growing up as a stableboy's son in the tiny hamlet of Bobcat, in the land of Routh. The other children mocked you because of your glasses and asthma, but you would have the last laugh when you grew up to be a mighty Wizard! (Which you did.) Having heard many rumors about how Glameroth was being systematically sacked by a band of marauding gnolls (who had already looted and burned the villages of Flytrap, Malph, and Sudoku), and the ludicrous reward being offered for the neck of their leader, you decided it was finally time to put your mettle to the test. Everything was hunky-dory until you got lost in a dungeon -- all the walls looked exactly the same! You did find a sweet mace +1 in a githyanki's lair, though, and were able to intimidate some gypsies into telling you where their boss's hideout was. Right before they stabbed you in the groin. But, unwilling to let that keep you from glory, you gritted your teeth and wielded your sack of doorknobs, and cut your way through the hordes of gangsters that stood between you and your goal. At last you found the lair of Vampire Devil Lord Xxyrg, who quite unexpectedly turned out to be your long-lost half-brother, but you killed the hayseed anyway. And thus was the land freed from tyranny, and you earned yourself a fat reward!
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