| Lacking the patience to be a Mage and the brawn to be a Fighter, you decided to be the next best thing: a professional chef. Sadly, your recipe for sauteed mutton vindaloo was unappreciated by the plebes in your tiny hometown of Whacking, so you became a professional Thief instead. As luck would have it, you found yourself wandering through the sleepy village of Foobar just as the village people (you know, the construction worker, the cop, the Indian) were beset by the evil Lawyer Hasslehoff, who had poisoned the town's kitten population. Against your better judgment (and with the hope of fat loot to come), you agreed to try and bring the villain to justice. Everything was hunky-dory until you got lost in a sewer -- all the walls looked exactly the same! You did find a sweet "Rod of Lordly Might" (if you know what I mean) +1 in a owlbear's lair, though, and were able to intimidate some bandits into telling you where their boss's hideout was. Right before they stabbed you in the bung. But all that drama couldn't stop you. You'd never given up on anything, not even your childhood quest to hose down all the sugar glider in your hometown of Pittsburgh. So you kept going, right into the smithy of the evil King Mephistor. Fortunately for you, he was out for lunch at the time, so you could grab some loot and get out before you got your eye handed to you.
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