| At an early age, you were apprenticed to the Great Wizard Max, but you grew tired of having to groom the floors and shine the alchemical equipment day in and day out. So, you stole a spellbook and took off to become a Wizard on your own. Having heard many rumors about how Crunkleton was being systematically sacked by a band of marauding jocks (who had already looted and burned the villages of Mondale, Madlib, and Bobcat), and the ludicrous reward being offered for the lower back of their leader, you decided it was finally time to put your mettle to the test. Everything was going great until you had to fend off half a dozen dire dwarves with your groin trapped in a sphere of annihilation. Fortunately, most of them ran away when the bugbear showed up, and you played dead until it left. That's not very heroic, but hey, it worked. However, you knew you'd never be a mighty adventurer if you let a little setback like that stop you, and damned if you were going to end up a midwife in some crummy backwater like Sudoku or Mondale. So you pressed onward until you discovered the lair of the Vampire King Diablolo, and after a long and dramatic battle you successfully put an end to his evil ways. And then you looted the hell out of his hideout.
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