| Ever since you were a child in the meager village of Pitlick, you wanted to become a great Wizard and learn the great mysteries of the universe, such as what happens to that missing sock. The answer turned out to not be very interesting, but by that time you were a Wizard anyway. At the tiny tavern on the outskirts of the Village of Cabbagetown, you were trapped in a conversation with a man who had clearly had more than his fill of ale. He told you about the great plague of hagfish that had beset the entire region of New Brunswick, and of the rumor that the evil Giant Baaaal was the source of the unpleasantness. You resolved to find the villain and dispatch him, mostly to get the drunk guy to shut up. You were kickin' ass and chewin' bubblegum up until the part where you found yourself trapped between a beartrap and a vending machine, with a rust monster bearing down upon you. That strawberry was pretty delicious, but it's didn't really make up for the damage to your eye. You holed up in a small storeroom with a lockable door, and spent several weeks resting until your hitpoints were back to full. Then, keeping a careful eye out for accountants, you made your way to the lair of Dark Wizard Deathlittle and the object of your quest. You thought he nearly had you when he summoned a foul flesh golem to his aid, but you put paid to the beast with your knife and knocked the villain screaming into a iron maiden with a well-placed kick to the face. At last, the treasure was yours!
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