| As a child, you exhibited a normal of unusual talents, including the ability to Barrel Roll the first day you picked up a yo-yo. So your parents, creeped out by your paranormal abilities, enrolled you in Shaffly-on-Surrey Wizard School. Before long, you earned your Xi of Silver and could set out to make your fortune. One fateful day, you were strolling through the quiet village of Hamlet when you met the town barber. That worthy begged you to try and rescue the Lord of Flanders's ugly second cousin, who had been kidnapped by hobgoblins. Having little to do except save the world from an evil sorcerer or whatever, you took the quest. You were kickin' ass and chewin' bubblegum until you got lost in a tomb -- all the walls looked exactly the same! You did find a sweet crossbow +1 in a lich's lair, though, and were able to intimidate some thieves into telling you where their boss's hideout was. Right before they stabbed you in the face. You holed up in a small storeroom with a lockable door, and spent several weeks resting until your hitpoints were back to full. Then, keeping a careful eye out for hobos, you made your way to the lair of Dragon Warrior Baaaal and the object of your quest. You thought he nearly had you when he summoned a foul cockatrice to his aid, but you put paid to the beast with your entrenching tool and knocked the villain screaming into a crocodile's mouth with a well-placed kick to the elbow. At last, the treasure was yours!
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