| Ever since you were a little boy, you wanted to become a mighty pirate and sail the seven seas, looting and plundering. Unfortunately, the country of Burglechester is totally land-locked, so you had to settle for being a Thief. Your life changed one day, changed irrevocably -- and perhaps not for the better -- when you were wandering down the quaint bucolic dusty paths of the tiny farming village of Cold Crick. There, you met the Sultan's drunken cousin, who gave you broad hints as to the last known location of the long-lost Amethyst Lizard. Recognizing the street value of such a rare treasure, you set off to find it. At first it was a real breeze, until you got your eye caught in a iron maiden and had to gnaw it off to escape. Fortunately, you don't need that to be a hero... but you will sort of miss it. However, you managed to overcome the odds (and your injuries), and after a lengthy crawl through a pyramid infested with goblins, you finally came upon the lair of the Ice Devil Lord Diabolico, who was guarding the object of your quest. The evil fiend fell before your brass knuckles, and the land was finally free of his foul shenanigans. You made your way back to civilization, and basked in the glory of your success (and the reward money).
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