| It was hard growing up as a milkmaid's son in the tiny hamlet of Molehill, in the land of Wibbleshire. The other children mocked you because of your glasses and asthma, but you would have the last laugh when you grew up to be a mighty Wizard! (Which you did.) Your life changed one day, changed irrevocably -- and perhaps not for the better -- when you were wandering down the quaint bucolic dusty paths of the tiny farming village of Whacking. There, you met the Lord of Bacon's sexy uncle, who gave you broad hints as to the last known location of the long-lost Silver Albatross. Recognizing the street value of such a rare treasure, you set off to find it. You had a good handle on it until you got your solar plexus caught in a spiked pit and had to gnaw it off to escape. Fortunately, you don't need that to be a hero... but you will sort of miss it. But, you put on your brave face, and made your way through the caverns and caves to where the Black Lord Blackfist held court over his horde of raven-haired bandits, and with uncountable swings of your spear (and a few well-placed attacks of opportunity), you finally slew the horrible halfwit and rode back to town to claim your glory (and reward).
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