| Lacking the patience to be a Mage and the brawn to be a Fighter, you decided to be the next best thing: a professional chef. Sadly, your recipe for scalded flan was unappreciated by the plebes in your tiny hometown of Buttole, so you became a professional Thief instead. Having heard many rumors about how Bafflesbury was being systematically sacked by a band of marauding dark elves (who had already looted and burned the villages of Madlib, Frog, and Malph), and the ludicrous reward being offered for the throat of their leader, you decided it was finally time to put your mettle to the test. You were rocking the house until you got lost in a crypt -- all the walls looked exactly the same! You did find a sweet crossbow +1 in a beholder's lair, though, and were able to intimidate some bullywugs into telling you where their boss's hideout was. Right before they stabbed you in the face. But all that drama couldn't stop you. You'd never given up on anything, not even your childhood quest to mop all the tarantula in your hometown of Pitlick. So you kept going, right into the brewery of the evil Marquis Arc'klor. Fortunately for you, he was out for lunch at the time, so you could grab some loot and get out before you got your kidney handed to you.
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