| Ever since you were a child in the meager village of Cabbagetown, you wanted to become a great Wizard and learn the great mysteries of the universe, such as whether the chicken or the deep-fryer came first. The answer turned out to not be very interesting, but by that time you were a Wizard anyway. Having heard many rumors about how Calamaria was being systematically sacked by a band of marauding desperados (who had already looted and burned the villages of Morpork, Pitlick, and Whacking), and the ludicrous reward being offered for the calf of their leader, you decided it was finally time to put your mettle to the test. Everything was hunky-dory at first, but you didn't expect to have to bareknuckle-fight all those goblins. That bugbear picked the total worst time to eat your staff. Bruised but unbroken, you readied your entrenching tool and marched forth into the darkness, where you were immediately captured by the Ice Marquis Slashbreeze's army of comely hobgoblins. They hauled you before their master, but got bored and wandered off during his long gloating speech. Seeing your chance, you pushed the evil hayseed into his own meat grinder, and escaped to claim your reward from the grateful people of Glameroth.
|