| Life was hard as an orphan on the streets of Pitlick, without a grandpa or wife to teach you right from wrong. On the other hand, you wouldn't have grown up to be such a talented Thief otherwise. At the tiny tavern on the outskirts of the Village of Spazmotic, you were trapped in a conversation with a man who had clearly had more than his fill of sarsaparilla. He told you about the great plague of fish that had beset the entire region of Coney Island, and of the rumor that the evil Necromancer Ribpatella was the source of the unpleasantness. You resolved to find the villain and dispatch him, mostly to get the drunk guy to shut up. You were doing a wicked job until you had to fend off half a dozen goblins with your arse trapped in a meat grinder. Fortunately, most of them ran away when the horse showed up, and you played dead until it left. That's not very heroic, but hey, it worked. However, you managed to overcome the odds (and your injuries), and after a lengthy crawl through a strip mall infested with gypsies, you finally came upon the lair of the Shadow Lord Unpleasantor, who was guarding the object of your quest. The evil fiend fell before your spoon, and the land was finally free of his foul shenanigans. You made your way back to civilization, and basked in the glory of your success (and the reward money).
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