| Ever since you were a child in the meager village of Cold Crick, you wanted to become a great Wizard and learn the great mysteries of the universe, such as why old sitcoms are never as good as you remember them being. The answer turned out to not be very interesting, but by that time you were a Wizard anyway. One fateful day, you were strolling through the quiet village of Morpork when you met the town milkmaid. That worthy begged you to try and rescue a charwoman's homely second cousin, who had been kidnapped by bandits. Having little to do except save the world from an evil sorcerer or whatever, you took the quest. You were doing a radical job but you soon were confounded by a fiendish depants-the-wizard puzzle, and by the time you figured out to solve it, you were incensed as an underfed dog. Nevertheless, you fought your way through evil overlord's necropolis, dispatching goblins left and right, and finally arrived at the throne room of the Shadow Overlord Englebert. After a long and dramatic battle, you plunged your handaxe into his solar plexus. The entire dungeon unexpectedly began to collapse as soon as the evil jerk was dead, but you managed to escape with your life, and claimed your reward from the grateful people of Burblegroat.
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