| When you were growing up in the little town of Cabbagetown, you always wanted to be a mighty Barbarian. You ended up being a Fighter instead, because you didn't have the right prime requisites. You rode into the city of Bacon, and met a shadowy stranger in a hooded cloak who was sitting in the corner of the local bar. He told you about the legendary Emerald Penguin of Morcestecershire, which is rumored to be hidden in an ancient necropolis near the village of Dogspittle, and promised you a hefty fee if you could bring it to him. Figuring he wouldn't offer you the quest if it weren't level-appropriate, you readily agreed. You were rocking the house until you got your face caught in a vending machine and had to gnaw it off to escape. Fortunately, you don't need that to be a hero... but you will sort of miss it. Bruised but unbroken, you readied your halberd and marched forth into the darkness, where you were immediately captured by the Dark Warlock Grognard's army of fat tramps. They hauled you before their master, but got bored and wandered off during his long gloating speech. Seeing your chance, you pushed the evil has-been into his own gelatinous cube, and escaped to claim your reward from the grateful people of Burblegroat.
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