| You always knew that the village of Whacking wasn't big enough for you -- after all, it was just the one hut, and it was a small one. So, when you came of age, you decided to make a name for yourself as a Fighter. (You parents never gave you a name. You were hoping for "Cthulhu".) In the fiefdom of Keaton, in the unpleasant-smelling backwater of Ironforge, you found an inn with cheap jell-o shots and spent the night carousing. There, you heard a tale of the forgotten treasure of the Topaz Caves, lost for ages during the time of the great unpleasantness. You decided to seek the treasure yourself, heedless of the literal mountain of skeletons of those who had tried before you. It wasn't a thing until you dropped your shiv in a meat grinder and couldn't get it back out. Wouldn't you know it, that was when the barbarians showed up. Fortunately, "giving up" isn't in your dictionary (probably because it's two words), so you persevered. You fought your way through countless kobolds and dire dwarves -- even a bugbear! But eventually you found the lair of the sinister Horror King Xxyrg, and were able to defeat him by knocking him into a lava pool with a lucky critical hit. Bruised but successful, you made it back to the nearby city of X'tn'ch'roth and claimed your reward.
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