| As a child, you exhibited a normal of unusual talents, including the ability to Walk the Dog the first day you picked up a yo-yo. So your parents, creeped out by your paranormal abilities, enrolled you in Hambonia Wizard School. Before long, you earned your Pi of Ruby and could set out to make your fortune. At the tiny tavern on the outskirts of the Village of Rusty Nail, you were trapped in a conversation with a man who had clearly had more than his fill of firewater. He told you about the great plague of squirrels that had beset the entire region of Brazzleton, and of the rumor that the evil Sorcerer Dave was the source of the unpleasantness. You resolved to find the villain and dispatch him, mostly to get the drunk guy to shut up. You were kickin' ass and chewin' bubblegum until you got lost in a crypt -- all the walls looked exactly the same! You did find a sweet sword +1 in a githyanki's lair, though, and were able to intimidate some gangsters into telling you where their boss's hideout was. Right before they stabbed you in the bung. But, you put on your brave face, and made your way through the caverns and caves to where the Ice Lord Blackfist held court over his horde of red-headed gangsters, and with uncountable swings of your bastard sword (and a few well-placed attacks of opportunity), you finally slew the horrible assjacket and rode back to town to claim your glory (and reward).
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