| Lacking the patience to be a Mage and the brawn to be a Fighter, you decided to be the next best thing: a professional chef. Sadly, your recipe for roasted flan was unappreciated by the plebes in your tiny hometown of Phlegm, so you became a professional Thief instead. You headed off into the wild wilderness of Shaffly-on-Surrey in search of adventure, and upon your arrival at the great city of Lurkmoor you heard a town crier shouting about how the an inkeeper's sexy roommate had been kidnapped by tramps, and the massive reward for their rescue. Not wanting to get in the way of the plot railroad, you set out on your new quest. You had a good handle on it but you soon were confounded by a fiendish statue-pushing puzzle, and by the time you figured out to solve it, you were exasperated as an underfed boa constrictor. Bruised but unbroken, you readied your morningstar and marched forth into the darkness, where you were immediately captured by the Horror Sorcerer Dave's army of squat gangsters. They hauled you before their master, but got bored and wandered off during his long gloating speech. Seeing your chance, you pushed the evil bozo into his own cheese-grater, and escaped to claim your reward from the grateful people of Blurstishire.
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