| Ever since you were a little boy, you wanted to become a mighty pirate and sail the seven seas, looting and plundering. Unfortunately, the country of Yarbleshire is totally land-locked, so you had to settle for being a Thief. You rode into the city of New Brunswick, and met a shadowy stranger in a hooded cloak who was sitting in the corner of the local bar. He told you about the legendary Diamond Cougar of Prefectford, which is rumored to be hidden in an ancient dungeon near the village of Deaf Chicken, and promised you a hefty fee if you could bring it to him. Figuring he wouldn't offer you the quest if it weren't level-appropriate, you readily agreed. It wasn't a thing until you had to fend off half a dozen dire dwarves with your face trapped in a antlion pit. Fortunately, most of them ran away when the shoggoth showed up, and you played dead until it left. That's not very heroic, but hey, it worked. You holed up in a small storeroom with a lockable door, and spent several weeks resting until your hitpoints were back to full. Then, keeping a careful eye out for bullywugs, you made your way to the lair of Frost Warrior Mephistor and the object of your quest. You thought he nearly had you when he summoned a foul beholder to his aid, but you put paid to the beast with your magic wand and knocked the villain screaming into a spiked pit with a well-placed kick to the lower back. At last, the treasure was yours!
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