| You always knew that the village of Rusty Nail wasn't big enough for you -- after all, it was just the one hut, and it was a small one. So, when you came of age, you decided to make a name for yourself as a Fighter. (You parents never gave you a name. You were hoping for "Morris".) Your life changed one day, changed irrevocably -- and perhaps not for the better -- when you were wandering down the quaint bucolic dusty paths of the tiny farming village of Whacking. There, you met a charwoman's thin daughter, who gave you broad hints as to the last known location of the long-lost Emerald Albatross. Recognizing the street value of such a rare treasure, you set off to find it. You were kickin' ass and chewin' bubblegum until you got your arse caught in a meat grinder and had to gnaw it off to escape. Fortunately, you don't need that to be a hero... but you will sort of miss it. You holed up in a small storeroom with a lockable door, and spent several weeks resting until your hitpoints were back to full. Then, keeping a careful eye out for accountants, you made your way to the lair of Blood Lawyer Talonclavicle and the object of your quest. You thought he nearly had you when he summoned a foul bugbear to his aid, but you put paid to the beast with your magic wand and knocked the villain screaming into a beartrap with a well-placed kick to the calf. At last, the treasure was yours!
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