| As a baby you were stolen from your parents by a band of desperados and raised in a dark and wild factory. They regarded you as one of their own, but the time came for you to make your own name as a professional Thief. As luck would have it, you found yourself wandering through the sleepy village of Dropseat just as the village people (you know, the construction worker, the cop, the Indian) were beset by the evil Barbarian Grognard, who had poisoned the town's hamster population. Against your better judgment (and with the hope of fat loot to come), you agreed to try and bring the villain to justice. Everything was hunky-dory but then you wandered into a room totally full of indigent native tribesmen, plus a rakshasa, which is weird because you would have figured they'd have killed each other. They made a pretty good attempt at killing you, though. Fortunately, "giving up" isn't in your dictionary (probably because it's two words), so you persevered. You fought your way through countless hobos and orphans -- even a githyanki! But eventually you found the lair of the sinister Dragon Witchlord Baaaal, and were able to defeat him by knocking him into a sphere of annihilation with a lucky critical hit. Bruised but successful, you made it back to the nearby city of Waltermatthau and claimed your reward.
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