An ancient prophecy foretold of a child born in the city of Waltermatthau with a pair of glasses-shaped birthmark, who would grow up to be the greatest Wizard ever known. You have a birthmark like that, but at first you were only a sort of okay Wizard. Everyone has to start somewhere, I guess. Your life changed one day, changed irrevocably -- and perhaps not for the better -- when you were wandering down the quaint bucolic dusty paths of the tiny farming village of Cheddarwurst. There, you met the Earl of Shaffly-on-Surrey's tattooed stepchild, who gave you broad hints as to the last known location of the long-lost Emerald Polar bear. Recognizing the street value of such a rare treasure, you set off to find it. Everything was hunky-dory but you soon were confounded by a fiendish rune-deciphering puzzle, and by the time you figured out to solve it, you were frustrated as an underfed boa constrictor. However, you managed to overcome the odds (and your injuries), and after a lengthy crawl through a sewer infested with desperados, you finally came upon the lair of the Black Lawyer Englebert, who was guarding the object of your quest. The evil fiend fell before your dagger, and the land was finally free of his foul shenanigans. You made your way back to civilization, and basked in the glory of your success (and the reward money).
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