| As a baby you were stolen from your parents by a band of dark elves and raised in a dark and wild mansion. They regarded you as one of their own, but the time came for you to make your own name as a professional Thief. Having heard many rumors about how Shaffly-on-Surrey was being systematically sacked by a band of marauding dire dwarves (who had already looted and burned the villages of Dogspittle, Frog, and Cowpat), and the ludicrous reward being offered for the solar plexus of their leader, you decided it was finally time to put your mettle to the test. At first it was a real breeze, up until the part where you found yourself trapped between a cheese-grater and a cheese-grater, with a carrion crawler bearing down upon you. That strawberry was pretty delicious, but it's didn't really make up for the damage to your ear. You holed up in a small storeroom with a lockable door, and spent several weeks resting until your hitpoints were back to full. Then, keeping a careful eye out for thieves, you made your way to the lair of Blood Warrior Morgar and the object of your quest. You thought he nearly had you when he summoned a foul rakshasa to his aid, but you put paid to the beast with your yo-yo and knocked the villain screaming into a crocodile's mouth with a well-placed kick to the kidney. At last, the treasure was yours!
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