| Ever since you were a little boy, you wanted to become a mighty pirate and sail the seven seas, looting and plundering. Unfortunately, the country of Prefectford is totally land-locked, so you had to settle for being a Thief. Your life changed one day, changed irrevocably -- and perhaps not for the better -- when you were wandering down the quaint bucolic dusty paths of the tiny farming village of Ironforge. There, you met a knight's bright-eyed uncle, who gave you broad hints as to the last known location of the long-lost Diamond Duck. Recognizing the street value of such a rare treasure, you set off to find it. You were rocking the house until you got your leg caught in a swinging razor-sharp pendulum and had to gnaw it off to escape. Fortunately, you don't need that to be a hero... but you will sort of miss it. But all that drama couldn't stop you. You'd never given up on anything, not even your childhood quest to wash all the earwig in your hometown of Piehole. So you kept going, right into the pig stable of the evil Devil Lord Grunwold. Fortunately for you, he was out for lunch at the time, so you could grab some loot and get out before you got your arm handed to you.
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