| Ever since you were a child in the meager village of Deaf Chicken, you wanted to become a great Wizard and learn the great mysteries of the universe, such as why 'abbreviated' is such a long word. The answer turned out to not be very interesting, but by that time you were a Wizard anyway. As luck would have it, as you were passing through the land of Flabbernathy, you stopped at the inn in the quiet hamlet of Cold Crick, and heard the local serf talking about the ancient necropolis that the town had (perhaps ill-advisedly) been built next to, and the fantastic Gold Idol of Grindervampire bat that was purported to be hidden there. Without bothering to ask why nobody had managed to recover it already, you set out on your very first quest. It wasn't a thing up until the part where you found yourself trapped between a iron maiden and a swinging razor-sharp pendulum, with a cockatrice bearing down upon you. That strawberry was pretty delicious, but it's didn't really make up for the damage to your skull. But, you put on your brave face, and made your way through the caverns and caves to where the Devil Warlock Hasslehoff held court over his horde of simple indigent native tribesmen, and with uncountable swings of your footaxe (and a few well-placed attacks of opportunity), you finally slew the horrible git and rode back to town to claim your glory (and reward).
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