| Life was hard as a young man growing up in the city of Keaton, and it became even harder when you had your heart stolen by a bright-eyed, tattooed bard. You became a Thief, in order to steal it back (with interest). At the tiny tavern on the outskirts of the Village of Dogspittle, you were trapped in a conversation with a man who had clearly had more than his fill of tequiza. He told you about the great plague of tigers that had beset the entire region of Flanders, and of the rumor that the evil Witchlord Ribmandible was the source of the unpleasantness. You resolved to find the villain and dispatch him, mostly to get the drunk guy to shut up. You had a good handle on it until you got your calf caught in a succubus and had to gnaw it off to escape. Fortunately, you don't need that to be a hero... but you will sort of miss it. However, you knew you'd never be a mighty adventurer if you let a little setback like that stop you, and damned if you were going to end up a bard in some crummy backwater like Piehole or Cold Crick. So you pressed onward until you discovered the lair of the Evil King Morgar, and after a long and dramatic battle you successfully put an end to his evil ways. And then you looted the hell out of his hideout.
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