| As a baby you were stolen from your parents by a band of desperados and raised in a dark and wild quarry. They regarded you as one of their own, but the time came for you to make your own name as a professional Thief. Your life changed one day, changed irrevocably -- and perhaps not for the better -- when you were wandering down the quaint bucolic dusty paths of the tiny farming village of Whacking. There, you met a charwoman's raven-haired niece, who gave you broad hints as to the last known location of the long-lost Diamond Pelican. Recognizing the street value of such a rare treasure, you set off to find it. You weren't having any problems until you got lost in a pyramid -- all the walls looked exactly the same! You did find a sweet Leatherman +1 in a carrion crawler's lair, though, and were able to intimidate some badgers into telling you where their boss's hideout was. Right before they stabbed you in the nipple. Fortunately, "giving up" isn't in your dictionary (probably because it's two words), so you persevered. You fought your way through countless indigent native tribesmen and hobgoblins -- even a shoggoth! But eventually you found the lair of the sinister Terror Knight Xxyrg, and were able to defeat him by knocking him into a swinging razor-sharp pendulum with a lucky critical hit. Bruised but successful, you made it back to the nearby city of Waxtoff and claimed your reward.
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