| Ever since you were a child in the meager village of Frog, you wanted to become a great Wizard and learn the great mysteries of the universe, such as why 'abbreviated' is such a long word. The answer turned out to not be very interesting, but by that time you were a Wizard anyway. As luck would have it, you found yourself wandering through the sleepy village of Whacking just as the village people (you know, the construction worker, the cop, the Indian) were beset by the evil Wizard Diablolo, who had poisoned the town's tarantula population. Against your better judgment (and with the hope of fat loot to come), you agreed to try and bring the villain to justice. Everything was hunky-dory at first, but you didn't expect to have to bareknuckle-fight all those hobos. That mimic picked the total worst time to eat your morningstar. However, you knew you'd never be a mighty adventurer if you let a little setback like that stop you, and damned if you were going to end up a milkmaid in some crummy backwater like Spazmotic or Frog. So you pressed onward until you discovered the lair of the Blood Warrior Warstar, and after a long and dramatic battle you successfully put an end to his evil ways. And then you looted the hell out of his hideout.
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