| You grew up on the unobtrusive streets of the great Ruby City, where contrary to popular belief, the streets are mainly paved with horse dung. Well, at least in your neighborhood. Small wonder you grew up to be a professional Thief. At the tiny tavern on the outskirts of the Village of Hamlet, you were trapped in a conversation with a man who had clearly had more than his fill of jell-o shots. He told you about the great plague of swine that had beset the entire region of Bacon, and of the rumor that the evil Devil Lord Grimtooth was the source of the unpleasantness. You resolved to find the villain and dispatch him, mostly to get the drunk guy to shut up. You were kickin' ass and chewin' bubblegum but then you wandered into a room totally full of bullywugs, plus a mind flayer, which is weird because you would have figured they'd have killed each other. They made a pretty good attempt at killing you, though. You holed up in a small storeroom with a lockable door, and spent several weeks resting until your hitpoints were back to full. Then, keeping a careful eye out for kobolds, you made your way to the lair of Dragon Lawyer Badfella and the object of your quest. You thought he nearly had you when he summoned a foul cockatrice to his aid, but you put paid to the beast with your brass knuckles and knocked the villain screaming into a cheese-grater with a well-placed kick to the eye. At last, the treasure was yours!
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