| Ever since you were a little boy, you wanted to become a mighty pirate and sail the seven seas, looting and plundering. Unfortunately, the country of Waxton is totally land-locked, so you had to settle for being a Thief. In the fiefdom of Bale, in the unpleasant-smelling backwater of Dogspittle, you found an inn with cheap barley pop and spent the night carousing. There, you heard a tale of the forgotten treasure of the Gold Mountains, lost for ages during the time of the great reaping. You decided to seek the treasure yourself, heedless of the literal mountain of skeletons of those who had tried before you. You were doing a good job until you got your ear caught in a gelatinous cube and had to gnaw it off to escape. Fortunately, you don't need that to be a hero... but you will sort of miss it. Fortunately, "giving up" isn't in your dictionary (probably because it's two words), so you persevered. You fought your way through countless kobolds and jocks -- even a roper! But eventually you found the lair of the sinister Shadow Sorcerer Frazool, and were able to defeat him by knocking him into a sphere of annihilation with a lucky critical hit. Bruised but successful, you made it back to the nearby city of Febreezia and claimed your reward.
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