| It was hard growing up as a town crier's son in the tiny hamlet of Phlegm, in the land of Gallston. The other children mocked you because of your glasses and asthma, but you would have the last laugh when you grew up to be a mighty Wizard! (Which you did.) You headed off into the wild wilderness of Shamablamaroth in search of adventure, and upon your arrival at the great city of Lemonhawk you heard a town crier shouting about how the the Marquis of Nickelodeon's red-headed son had been kidnapped by jerks, and the massive reward for their rescue. Not wanting to get in the way of the plot railroad, you set out on your new quest. You were rocking the house but then you wandered into a room totally full of tramps, plus a rakshasa, which is weird because you would have figured they'd have killed each other. They made a pretty good attempt at killing you, though. But, you put on your brave face, and made your way through the caverns and caves to where the Demon Devil Lord Savageblade held court over his horde of red-headed dark elves, and with uncountable swings of your Greyhawk Army knife (and a few well-placed attacks of opportunity), you finally slew the horrible douchenugget and rode back to town to claim your glory (and reward).
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