| At an early age, you were apprenticed to the Great Wizard Willard, but you grew tired of having to feed the floors and rake the alchemical equipment day in and day out. So, you stole a spellbook and took off to become a Wizard on your own. Your life changed one day, changed irrevocably -- and perhaps not for the better -- when you were wandering down the quaint bucolic dusty paths of the tiny farming village of Pitlick. There, you met the Dauphin's serpent-tongued roommate, who gave you broad hints as to the last known location of the long-lost Silver Flamingo. Recognizing the street value of such a rare treasure, you set off to find it. You were doing a radical job at first, but you didn't expect to have to bareknuckle-fight all those dark elves. That bugbear picked the total worst time to eat your shiv. Fortunately, "giving up" isn't in your dictionary (probably because it's two words), so you persevered. You fought your way through countless gunslingers and hobgoblins -- even a bugbear! But eventually you found the lair of the sinister Skull Wizard Evilthing, and were able to defeat him by knocking him into a cheese-grater with a lucky critical hit. Bruised but successful, you made it back to the nearby city of Winklesbury and claimed your reward.
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