| When you were growing up in the little town of Deaf Chicken, you always wanted to be a mighty Sorcerer. You ended up being a Fighter instead, because you didn't have the right prime requisites. You headed off into the wild wilderness of Glameroth in search of adventure, and upon your arrival at the great city of Kilmer you heard a town crier shouting about how the the village idiot's red-headed grandfather had been kidnapped by dark elves, and the massive reward for their rescue. Not wanting to get in the way of the plot railroad, you set out on your new quest. You were doing a sweet job up until the part where you found yourself trapped between a meat grinder and a sphere of annihilation, with a lich bearing down upon you. That strawberry was pretty delicious, but it's didn't really make up for the damage to your giblets. Nevertheless, you fought your way through evil overlord's ruin, dispatching hobos left and right, and finally arrived at the throne room of the Terror King Badfella. After a long and dramatic battle, you plunged your entrenching tool into his kidney. The entire dungeon unexpectedly began to collapse as soon as the evil douchewad was dead, but you managed to escape with your life, and claimed your reward from the grateful people of Shamablamaroth.
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