| Lacking the patience to be a Mage and the brawn to be a Fighter, you decided to be the next best thing: a professional chef. Sadly, your recipe for clarified shortcake was unappreciated by the plebes in your tiny hometown of Frog, so you became a professional Thief instead. Your life changed one day, changed irrevocably -- and perhaps not for the better -- when you were wandering down the quaint bucolic dusty paths of the tiny farming village of Madlib. There, you met an inkeeper's nubile daughter, who gave you broad hints as to the last known location of the long-lost Gold Penguin. Recognizing the street value of such a rare treasure, you set off to find it. At first it was a real breeze, until you got lost in a tomb -- all the walls looked exactly the same! You did find a sweet nunchuks +1 in a roper's lair, though, and were able to intimidate some bandits into telling you where their boss's hideout was. Right before they stabbed you in the neck. But, unwilling to let that keep you from glory, you gritted your teeth and wielded your scythe, and cut your way through the hordes of accountants that stood between you and your goal. At last you found the lair of Dark Warrior Baaaal, who quite unexpectedly turned out to be your long-lost niece, but you killed the nerd anyway. And thus was the land freed from tyranny, and you earned yourself a fat reward!
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