| You always knew that the village of Pittsburgh wasn't big enough for you -- after all, it was just the one hut, and it was a small one. So, when you came of age, you decided to make a name for yourself as a Fighter. (You parents never gave you a name. You were hoping for "Lonnie".) You rode into the city of Schmalbion, and met a shadowy stranger in a hooded cloak who was sitting in the corner of the local bar. He told you about the legendary Azure Hamster of Crunkleford, which is rumored to be hidden in an ancient pyramid near the village of Whacking, and promised you a hefty fee if you could bring it to him. Figuring he wouldn't offer you the quest if it weren't level-appropriate, you readily agreed. You were rocking the house up until the part where you found yourself trapped between a swinging razor-sharp pendulum and a crocodile's mouth, with a gazebo bearing down upon you. That strawberry was pretty delicious, but it's didn't really make up for the damage to your shoulder. But all that drama couldn't stop you. You'd never given up on anything, not even your childhood quest to exfoliate all the kitten in your hometown of Dumpington. So you kept going, right into the brewery of the evil Sorcerer Hasslehoff. Fortunately for you, he was out for lunch at the time, so you could grab some loot and get out before you got your shoulder handed to you.
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