| At an early age, you were apprenticed to the Great Wizard Barney, but you grew tired of having to laminate the floors and wash the alchemical equipment day in and day out. So, you stole a spellbook and took off to become a Wizard on your own. One fateful day, you were strolling through the quiet village of Buttole when you met the town serf. That worthy begged you to try and rescue the town crier's serpent-tongued grandmother, who had been kidnapped by bullywugs. Having little to do except save the world from an evil sorcerer or whatever, you took the quest. Everything was hunky-dory until you had to fend off half a dozen bandits with your throat trapped in a sphere of annihilation. Fortunately, most of them ran away when the flesh golem showed up, and you played dead until it left. That's not very heroic, but hey, it worked. However, you knew you'd never be a mighty adventurer if you let a little setback like that stop you, and damned if you were going to end up a "seamstress" in some crummy backwater like Spazmotic or Molehill. So you pressed onward until you discovered the lair of the Evil Knight Murdermoon, and after a long and dramatic battle you successfully put an end to his evil ways. And then you looted the hell out of his hideout.
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