At an early age, you were apprenticed to the Great Wizard Morgan, but you grew tired of having to depilitate the floors and clean the alchemical equipment day in and day out. So, you stole a spellbook and took off to become a Wizard on your own.

As you wandered the back alleys of Morpork (and let's face it, most of that place is back alleys), a hand covered your mouth while a blade pushed gently at your ribs. You let yourself be dragged into a pitch-dark abandoned library. A sultry female voice introduced herself as Gamboge Fear crest. She asked you to undertake a quest to recover a fisherman's lost dog, Fuzzy. Reasoning it was the best quest you'd get until you leveled up a bit, you agreed to help.

Everything was hunky-dory until you got attacked by more orcs than you could handle. You were lucky to get out of there with your bung intact!

However, you managed to overcome the odds (and your injuries), and after a lengthy crawl through a necropolis infested with goblins, you finally came upon the lair of the Vampire Witchlord Blackfist, who was guarding the object of your quest. The evil fiend fell before your battleaxe, and the land was finally free of his foul shenanigans. You made your way back to civilization, and basked in the glory of your success (and the reward money).

Loot:nippleguard of misogyny
bone china backpack of unstoppable firewater
endless flagon of ent sarsaparilla

Another!