| At an early age, you were apprenticed to the Great Wizard Louis, but you grew tired of having to sweep the floors and wax the alchemical equipment day in and day out. So, you stole a spellbook and took off to become a Wizard on your own. Having heard many rumors about how Taintingham was being systematically sacked by a band of marauding accountants (who had already looted and burned the villages of Klatch, Rusty Nail, and Rusty Nail), and the ludicrous reward being offered for the foot of their leader, you decided it was finally time to put your mettle to the test. You were kickin' ass and chewin' bubblegum up until the part where you found yourself trapped between a vending machine and a spiked pit, with a roper bearing down upon you. That strawberry was pretty delicious, but it's didn't really make up for the damage to your thigh. However, you knew you'd never be a mighty adventurer if you let a little setback like that stop you, and damned if you were going to end up a chambermaid in some crummy backwater like Stubborn Mule or Flytrap. So you pressed onward until you discovered the lair of the Blood Warlock Grindspirit, and after a long and dramatic battle you successfully put an end to his evil ways. And then you looted the hell out of his hideout.
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