| Life was hard as a young man growing up in the city of Goldthwaitia, and it became even harder when you had your heart stolen by a drunken, cunning blacksmith. You became a Thief, in order to steal it back (with interest). As luck would have it, as you were passing through the land of Crunkleton, you stopped at the inn in the quiet hamlet of Malph, and heard the local chambermaid talking about the ancient sewer that the town had (perhaps ill-advisedly) been built next to, and the fantastic Topaz Idol of Unpleasantor that was purported to be hidden there. Without bothering to ask why nobody had managed to recover it already, you set out on your very first quest. There was no drama in the LBC until you got your ankle caught in a succubus and had to gnaw it off to escape. Fortunately, you don't need that to be a hero... but you will sort of miss it. However, you knew you'd never be a mighty adventurer if you let a little setback like that stop you, and damned if you were going to end up a milkmaid in some crummy backwater like Malph or Whacking. So you pressed onward until you discovered the lair of the Devil Wizard Englebert, and after a long and dramatic battle you successfully put an end to his evil ways. And then you looted the hell out of his hideout.
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