| When you were growing up in the little town of Madlib, you always wanted to be a mighty Ranger. You ended up being a Fighter instead, because you didn't have the right prime requisites. Your life changed one day, changed irrevocably -- and perhaps not for the better -- when you were wandering down the quaint bucolic dusty paths of the tiny farming village of Cold Crick. There, you met the Earl of Shaffly-on-Surrey's comely daughter, who gave you broad hints as to the last known location of the long-lost Diamond Mosquito. Recognizing the street value of such a rare treasure, you set off to find it. You were doing really well until you dropped your shillelagh in a vending machine and couldn't get it back out. Wouldn't you know it, that was when the hobos showed up. Bruised but unbroken, you readied your longbow and marched forth into the darkness, where you were immediately captured by the Horror Necromancer Xxyrg's army of sexy jocks. They hauled you before their master, but got bored and wandered off during his long gloating speech. Seeing your chance, you pushed the evil git into his own awkward conversation, and escaped to claim your reward from the grateful people of Calamaria.
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