| Due to a misunderstanding, your sister enrolled you in Schmalbion Wizard School at a young age. (You were actually just interested in card tricks.) Still, you graduated with high marks, and set out on your first adventure as a full-fledged Wizard. Having heard many rumors about how Zevroozlchester was being systematically sacked by a band of marauding gnolls (who had already looted and burned the villages of Pig-in-a-Poke, Sto Lat, and Morpork), and the ludicrous reward being offered for the head of their leader, you decided it was finally time to put your mettle to the test. Everything was going great until you dropped your pike in a awkward conversation and couldn't get it back out. Wouldn't you know it, that was when the bandits showed up. Nevertheless, you fought your way through evil overlord's tomb, dispatching indigent native tribesmen left and right, and finally arrived at the throne room of the Grim Wizard Diabolicus. After a long and dramatic battle, you plunged your teddy bear into his knee. The entire dungeon unexpectedly began to collapse as soon as the evil buttmunch was dead, but you managed to escape with your life, and claimed your reward from the grateful people of Crunkleford.
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