| You always knew that the village of Cabbagetown wasn't big enough for you -- after all, it was just the one hut, and it was a small one. So, when you came of age, you decided to make a name for yourself as a Fighter. (You parents never gave you a name. You were hoping for "Parker".) As luck would have it, you found yourself wandering through the sleepy village of Dogspittle just as the village people (you know, the construction worker, the cop, the Indian) were beset by the evil Wizard Grognard, who had poisoned the town's budgie population. Against your better judgment (and with the hope of fat loot to come), you agreed to try and bring the villain to justice. Everything was hunky-dory until you got lost in a sewer -- all the walls looked exactly the same! You did find a sweet entrenching tool +1 in a rust monster's lair, though, and were able to intimidate some bullywugs into telling you where their boss's hideout was. Right before they stabbed you in the knee. But, unwilling to let that keep you from glory, you gritted your teeth and wielded your sack of doorknobs, and cut your way through the hordes of gangsters that stood between you and your goal. At last you found the lair of Demon Lawyer Frazool, who quite unexpectedly turned out to be your long-lost grandfather, but you killed the asshat anyway. And thus was the land freed from tyranny, and you earned yourself a fat reward!
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