| As a baby you were stolen from your parents by a band of bandits and raised in a dark and wild factory. They regarded you as one of their own, but the time came for you to make your own name as a professional Thief. As you wandered the back alleys of Cowpat (and let's face it, most of that place is back alleys), a hand covered your mouth while a blade pushed gently at your ribs. You let yourself be dragged into a pitch-dark abandoned tannery. A sultry female voice introduced herself as Pear Dread mist. She asked you to undertake a quest to recover the Poo-bah's lost tarantula, Lucky. Reasoning it was the best quest you'd get until you leveled up a bit, you agreed to help. It was pretty easy, up until the part where you found yourself trapped between a iron maiden and a meat grinder, with a weretiger bearing down upon you. That strawberry was pretty delicious, but it's didn't really make up for the damage to your lower back. Bruised but unbroken, you readied your teddy bear and marched forth into the darkness, where you were immediately captured by the Horror King Vicioussun's army of thin jerks. They hauled you before their master, but got bored and wandered off during his long gloating speech. Seeing your chance, you pushed the evil punk into his own meat grinder, and escaped to claim your reward from the grateful people of Phleberron.
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