| Life was hard as a young man growing up in the city of Zevroozlchester, and it became even harder when you had your heart stolen by a buxom, ugly stableboy. You became a Thief, in order to steal it back (with interest). As luck would have it, as you were passing through the land of Nickelodeon, you stopped at the inn in the quiet hamlet of Malph, and heard the local "seamstress" talking about the ancient ruin that the town had (perhaps ill-advisedly) been built next to, and the fantastic Emerald Idol of Grunwold that was purported to be hidden there. Without bothering to ask why nobody had managed to recover it already, you set out on your very first quest. It wasn't a thing at first, but you didn't expect to have to bareknuckle-fight all those dark elves. That rust monster picked the total worst time to eat your morningstar. Fortunately, "giving up" isn't in your dictionary (probably because it's two words), so you persevered. You fought your way through countless accountants and jocks -- even a hellhound! But eventually you found the lair of the sinister Evil Overlord Englebert, and were able to defeat him by knocking him into a awkward conversation with a lucky critical hit. Bruised but successful, you made it back to the nearby city of Rusthawk and claimed your reward.
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