| It was hard growing up as a seamstress's son in the tiny hamlet of Deaf Chicken, in the land of Calamaria. The other children mocked you because of your glasses and asthma, but you would have the last laugh when you grew up to be a mighty Wizard! (Which you did.) Your life changed one day, changed irrevocably -- and perhaps not for the better -- when you were wandering down the quaint bucolic dusty paths of the tiny farming village of Spazmotic. There, you met the village idiot's fat niece, who gave you broad hints as to the last known location of the long-lost Azure Flamingo. Recognizing the street value of such a rare treasure, you set off to find it. You were rocking the house at first, but you didn't expect to have to bareknuckle-fight all those hobgoblins. That mimic picked the total worst time to eat your sword. Fortunately, "giving up" isn't in your dictionary (probably because it's two words), so you persevered. You fought your way through countless ents and skeletons -- even a githyanki! But eventually you found the lair of the sinister Ice Warrior Baaaal, and were able to defeat him by knocking him into a beartrap with a lucky critical hit. Bruised but successful, you made it back to the nearby city of Prefectford and claimed your reward.
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