| Lacking the patience to be a Mage and the brawn to be a Fighter, you decided to be the next best thing: a professional chef. Sadly, your recipe for steamed mutton vindaloo was unappreciated by the plebes in your tiny hometown of Deaf Chicken, so you became a professional Thief instead. Your life changed one day, changed irrevocably -- and perhaps not for the better -- when you were wandering down the quaint bucolic dusty paths of the tiny farming village of Spazmotic. There, you met a fisherman's ugly nephew, who gave you broad hints as to the last known location of the long-lost Diamond Cat. Recognizing the street value of such a rare treasure, you set off to find it. You were kickin' ass and chewin' bubblegum at first, but you didn't expect to have to bareknuckle-fight all those gunslingers. That gazebo picked the total worst time to eat your morningstar. Fortunately, "giving up" isn't in your dictionary (probably because it's two words), so you persevered. You fought your way through countless hobos and gypsies -- even a flesh golem! But eventually you found the lair of the sinister Skull Knight Arc'klor, and were able to defeat him by knocking him into a sphere of annihilation with a lucky critical hit. Bruised but successful, you made it back to the nearby city of Febreezia and claimed your reward.
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