| As a baby you were stolen from your parents by a band of jerks and raised in a dark and wild quarry. They regarded you as one of their own, but the time came for you to make your own name as a professional Thief. One fateful day, you were strolling through the quiet village of Cold Crick when you met the town barber. That worthy begged you to try and rescue the Lord of Bacon's tattooed uncle, who had been kidnapped by gangsters. Having little to do except save the world from an evil sorcerer or whatever, you took the quest. There was no drama in the LBC until you got lost in a strip mall -- all the walls looked exactly the same! You did find a sweet brass knuckles +1 in a mimic's lair, though, and were able to intimidate some skeletons into telling you where their boss's hideout was. Right before they stabbed you in the elbow. You holed up in a small storeroom with a lockable door, and spent several weeks resting until your hitpoints were back to full. Then, keeping a careful eye out for lizardmen, you made your way to the lair of Shadow Lawyer Badfella and the object of your quest. You thought he nearly had you when he summoned a foul lich to his aid, but you put paid to the beast with your knife and knocked the villain screaming into a cheese-grater with a well-placed kick to the ankle. At last, the treasure was yours!
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