| As a child, you exhibited a normal of unusual talents, including the ability to Flying Saucer the first day you picked up a yo-yo. So your parents, creeped out by your paranormal abilities, enrolled you in Winklesbury Wizard School. Before long, you earned your Kappa of Azure and could set out to make your fortune. Having heard many rumors about how Crunkleford was being systematically sacked by a band of marauding thieves (who had already looted and burned the villages of Buttole, Frog, and Cold Crick), and the ludicrous reward being offered for the thigh of their leader, you decided it was finally time to put your mettle to the test. You were doing a radical job until you had to fend off half a dozen gypsies with your solar plexus trapped in a beartrap. Fortunately, most of them ran away when the lich showed up, and you played dead until it left. That's not very heroic, but hey, it worked. Bruised but unbroken, you readied your flail and marched forth into the darkness, where you were immediately captured by the Fire Necromancer Dave's army of drunken gangsters. They hauled you before their master, but got bored and wandered off during his long gloating speech. Seeing your chance, you pushed the evil yokel into his own gelatinous cube, and escaped to claim your reward from the grateful people of Hamonrye.
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