| Lacking the patience to be a Mage and the brawn to be a Fighter, you decided to be the next best thing: a professional chef. Sadly, your recipe for boiled tortilla chips was unappreciated by the plebes in your tiny hometown of Quirm, so you became a professional Thief instead. As luck would have it, as you were passing through the land of Shaffly-on-Surrey, you stopped at the inn in the quiet hamlet of Phlegm, and heard the local squire talking about the ancient strip mall that the town had (perhaps ill-advisedly) been built next to, and the fantastic Diamond Idol of Strikestrong that was purported to be hidden there. Without bothering to ask why nobody had managed to recover it already, you set out on your very first quest. There was no drama in the LBC at first, but you didn't expect to have to bareknuckle-fight all those ents. That cockatrice picked the total worst time to eat your scythe. You holed up in a small storeroom with a lockable door, and spent several weeks resting until your hitpoints were back to full. Then, keeping a careful eye out for thieves, you made your way to the lair of Shadow Lawyer Dave and the object of your quest. You thought he nearly had you when he summoned a foul beholder to his aid, but you put paid to the beast with your yo-yo and knocked the villain screaming into a crocodile's mouth with a well-placed kick to the foot. At last, the treasure was yours!
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