| It was hard growing up as a bard's son in the tiny hamlet of Madlib, in the land of Morcestecershire. The other children mocked you because of your glasses and asthma, but you would have the last laugh when you grew up to be a mighty Wizard! (Which you did.) As luck would have it, you found yourself wandering through the sleepy village of Cold Crick just as the village people (you know, the construction worker, the cop, the Indian) were beset by the evil Witchlord Englebert, who had poisoned the town's tarantula population. Against your better judgment (and with the hope of fat loot to come), you agreed to try and bring the villain to justice. Everything was hunky-dory but you soon were confounded by a fiendish hurl-birds-at-pigs puzzle, and by the time you figured out to solve it, you were despondent as an underfed kitten. But, unwilling to let that keep you from glory, you gritted your teeth and wielded your 10' pole, and cut your way through the hordes of dire dwarves that stood between you and your goal. At last you found the lair of Skull Overlord Baaaal, who quite unexpectedly turned out to be your long-lost stepsister, but you killed the arse anyway. And thus was the land freed from tyranny, and you earned yourself a fat reward!
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