| Life was hard as a young man growing up in the city of Fandanzia, and it became even harder when you had your heart stolen by a golden-haired, sexy tavernkeep. You became a Thief, in order to steal it back (with interest). As luck would have it, as you were passing through the land of Wibbleshire, you stopped at the inn in the quiet hamlet of Madlib, and heard the local serf talking about the ancient ruin that the town had (perhaps ill-advisedly) been built next to, and the fantastic Ruby Idol of Grunwold that was purported to be hidden there. Without bothering to ask why nobody had managed to recover it already, you set out on your very first quest. You were kickin' ass and chewin' bubblegum up until the part where you found yourself trapped between a sphere of annihilation and a meat grinder, with a cockatrice bearing down upon you. That strawberry was pretty delicious, but it's didn't really make up for the damage to your shoulder. Fortunately, "giving up" isn't in your dictionary (probably because it's two words), so you persevered. You fought your way through countless skeletons and tramps -- even a rakshasa! But eventually you found the lair of the sinister Ice Lord Unpleasantor, and were able to defeat him by knocking him into a iron maiden with a lucky critical hit. Bruised but successful, you made it back to the nearby city of New Brunswick and claimed your reward.
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