| As a baby you were stolen from your parents by a band of badgers and raised in a dark and wild cave. They regarded you as one of their own, but the time came for you to make your own name as a professional Thief. You rode into the city of Glameroth, and met a shadowy stranger in a hooded cloak who was sitting in the corner of the local bar. He told you about the legendary Gold Elephant of Morcestecershire, which is rumored to be hidden in an ancient tower near the village of Pig-in-a-Poke, and promised you a hefty fee if you could bring it to him. Figuring he wouldn't offer you the quest if it weren't level-appropriate, you readily agreed. You were kickin' ass and chewin' bubblegum but you soon were confounded by a fiendish hurl-birds-at-pigs puzzle, and by the time you figured out to solve it, you were sad as an underfed tarantula. Nevertheless, you fought your way through evil overlord's strip mall, dispatching skeletons left and right, and finally arrived at the throne room of the Black Marquis Morgar. After a long and dramatic battle, you plunged your handaxe into his elbow. The entire dungeon unexpectedly began to collapse as soon as the evil assjacket was dead, but you managed to escape with your life, and claimed your reward from the grateful people of Waxtoff.
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