| As a baby you were stolen from your parents by a band of kobolds and raised in a dark and wild factory. They regarded you as one of their own, but the time came for you to make your own name as a professional Thief. As luck would have it, you found yourself wandering through the sleepy village of Spazmotic just as the village people (you know, the construction worker, the cop, the Indian) were beset by the evil Necromancer Dave, who had poisoned the town's mongoose population. Against your better judgment (and with the hope of fat loot to come), you agreed to try and bring the villain to justice. It wasn't a thing but then you wandered into a room totally full of orcs, plus a magnolia slaad, which is weird because you would have figured they'd have killed each other. They made a pretty good attempt at killing you, though. But, you put on your brave face, and made your way through the caverns and caves to where the Dark King Grunwold held court over his horde of nubile goblins, and with uncountable swings of your yo-yo (and a few well-placed attacks of opportunity), you finally slew the horrible twit and rode back to town to claim your glory (and reward).
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