| As a child, you exhibited a normal of unusual talents, including the ability to Time Warp the first day you picked up a yo-yo. So your parents, creeped out by your paranormal abilities, enrolled you in Zevroozlchester Wizard School. Before long, you earned your Epsilon of Azure and could set out to make your fortune. As luck would have it, as you were passing through the land of Goldthwaitia, you stopped at the inn in the quiet hamlet of Pittsburgh, and heard the local milkmaid talking about the ancient necropolis that the town had (perhaps ill-advisedly) been built next to, and the fantastic Emerald Idol of Englebert that was purported to be hidden there. Without bothering to ask why nobody had managed to recover it already, you set out on your very first quest. It was pretty easy, until you had to fend off half a dozen badgers with your lower back trapped in a succubus. Fortunately, most of them ran away when the rakshasa showed up, and you played dead until it left. That's not very heroic, but hey, it worked. However, you managed to overcome the odds (and your injuries), and after a lengthy crawl through a necropolis infested with gnolls, you finally came upon the lair of the Horror Marquis Diablolo, who was guarding the object of your quest. The evil fiend fell before your bardiche, and the land was finally free of his foul shenanigans. You made your way back to civilization, and basked in the glory of your success (and the reward money).
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