| Lacking the patience to be a Mage and the brawn to be a Fighter, you decided to be the next best thing: a professional chef. Sadly, your recipe for deep-fried fried arugula was unappreciated by the plebes in your tiny hometown of Spazmotic, so you became a professional Thief instead. At the tiny tavern on the outskirts of the Village of Whacking, you were trapped in a conversation with a man who had clearly had more than his fill of lager. He told you about the great plague of squirrels that had beset the entire region of Brazzleton, and of the rumor that the evil Necromancer Englebert was the source of the unpleasantness. You resolved to find the villain and dispatch him, mostly to get the drunk guy to shut up. It was pretty easy, until you had to fend off half a dozen goblins with your neck trapped in a lava pool. Fortunately, most of them ran away when the owlbear showed up, and you played dead until it left. That's not very heroic, but hey, it worked. However, you knew you'd never be a mighty adventurer if you let a little setback like that stop you, and damned if you were going to end up a town crier in some crummy backwater like Sto Lat or Whacking. So you pressed onward until you discovered the lair of the Grim Marquis Grognard, and after a long and dramatic battle you successfully put an end to his evil ways. And then you looted the hell out of his hideout.
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