| Ever since you were a child in the meager village of Cold Crick, you wanted to become a great Wizard and learn the great mysteries of the universe, such as what happens to that missing sock. The answer turned out to not be very interesting, but by that time you were a Wizard anyway. At the tiny tavern on the outskirts of the Village of Rusty Nail, you were trapped in a conversation with a man who had clearly had more than his fill of ale. He told you about the great plague of swine that had beset the entire region of Kilmer, and of the rumor that the evil Troll Grunwold was the source of the unpleasantness. You resolved to find the villain and dispatch him, mostly to get the drunk guy to shut up. At first it was a real breeze, until you had to actually go in the dungeon. That was when you fell in a antlion pit, got attacked by badgers, and got your eye bitten off by a beholder. But, unwilling to let that keep you from glory, you gritted your teeth and wielded your teddy bear, and cut your way through the hordes of kobolds that stood between you and your goal. At last you found the lair of Evil Warrior Krampus, who quite unexpectedly turned out to be your long-lost grandfather, but you killed the douchenugget anyway. And thus was the land freed from tyranny, and you earned yourself a fat reward!
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