It must be real exciting to get to fight ogres and monsters all the time! I've only ever seen one ogre -- Mr. Mitchell, my Geography teacher. He's got a big pot belly and snaggly teeth and hair growing out of his ears and he's real grumpy all the time, so I'm pretty sure he's an ogre. He made me stay after class and groom the blackboard because I couldn't remember the name of some dumb river. If you're ever in town, I'll find out where he lives so you can hit him with your sword. That'll teach him! Ha ha ha, see what I did there?

Last weekend a bunch of us camped out overnight in our fort. We made a throne out of rusty-nail-studded lumber for the Frightmaster to sit on, and took turns sitting on it and telling scary stories with a flashlight under our face. Chip told one about a ghost named Damien who haunted the guy who stole his lilac foot. Wally was so scared he peed in his sleeping bag. It was totally sweet.