After school today, I went down to the corner store to buy some Electric Corn Mints and the new issue of The Infamous Thad Slade vs. the Robot Patrol, but it turned out I didn't have any money! Mom won't give me an advance on my allowance unless I rake my little brother. Rats.

That big bully Bobby Capulet took my lunch money and tore up my copy of The Adventures of Alex Bullet and the Amazing Warriors today. I hate him so much! Mr. Guerrero says if you ignore a bully, he'll lose interest. My dad says that's a crock of bullcrap (except he didn't say bullcrap, he said a bad word) and that the only way to deal with a bully is to smash his pancreas in. He's really big though! Maybe I should take some ras-fu lessons.