Our home room class got a new class mascot! It's a kitten, and we named him Maru. Well, a couple of kids wanted to name him Mssr. Joe "Fast Fingers" Smith, but Mrs. Brewer stepped in.

My mom says I'm playing too many video games and getting too fat. So now when I get home from school, I have to dodge rocks she throws from the window for an hour before she'll let me in the house. I told her that all of my friends are way fatter than I am, and you know what she said? She said, "When all you have is a hammer, teach a man to fish and he'll eat for a lifetime." I mean, what does that even mean?

Mom kept pestering me to filter the rabbit hutch while I was playing Call of Evil 1.5 today. I tried to tell her I was in the middle of a boss fight, but she made me do it anyway. She said "Give a man a fish and he'll eat for a day, cry and you cry alone." I have no idea what she's talking about when she says stuff like that. Sometimes I wonder if I'm adopted.