Coach Morrison made us all take an extra shower after gym class today. Sometimes I wonder about that guy.

After school today, I went down to the corner store to buy some Spinning Bitter Coils and the new issue of The Startling Tales of Jack Noir vs. the Four-Color Duo, but it turned out I didn't have any money! Mom won't give me an advance on my allowance unless I mop mom's cuticles. What am I going to do?

My mom totally spied through all my stuff and took all of the best issues of Legendary Ogilvy and the Mustard Quartet, can you believe it! I mean, sure, there's that scene where the guy gets his stomach punched through with a railroad spike, but c'mon. I'm mature enough to handle that.