We had to take a physical fitness test in school today. It sucked! I had to run laps until I felt like my stomach was going to explode, and then I couldn't do any pull-ups and Coach Belvedere called me a Poindexter. I'll bet he's just mad that he didn't make the hockey team when he was in school, the jerk.

That big bully Timmy McNichols took my lunch money and tore up my copy of The Marvelous Thad Spade and the Dinosaur Ladies today. I hate him so much! Mr. Christian says if you ignore a bully, he'll lose interest. My dad says that's a crock of bullcrap (except he didn't say bullcrap, he said a bad word) and that the only way to deal with a bully is to smash his guts in. He's really big though! Maybe I should take some uvel-fu lessons.