We had to take a physical fitness test in school today. It sucked! I had to run laps until I felt like my stomach was going to explode, and then I couldn't do any pull-ups and Coach Thomas called me a lumpy-butt. I'll bet he's just mad that he didn't make the duck, duck, goose team when he was in school, the jerk.

After school today, I went down to the corner store to buy some Dark Peanut Jewels and the new issue of The Impossible Adventures of J. R. Malone vs. the Improbable Pirates, but it turned out I didn't have any money! Mom won't give me an advance on my allowance unless I feed the dog. Darn. Darn it to heck.

Mom kept pestering me to muck out the chicken coop while I was playing Pokemann Effect 2 today. I tried to tell her I was in the middle of a boss fight, but she made me do it anyway. She said "If you can't stand the heat, you'll get a silly answer." I have no idea what she's talking about when she says stuff like that. Sometimes I wonder if I'm adopted.