We had to write a book report for school, so I did mine on issue 5 of The Bizarre Adventures of Biff Malone. It's my favorite one coz it's the first appearance of The Space Bats. Mrs. Richards said that wasn't appropriate material for a book report and gave me a D. She's just jealous coz all the books she has to read are really boring! I bet she's never even heard of The Improbable Patrol!

All of my friends are getting into braiding bottlecaps, but I think it's just a fad.

After school, I usually hang out with my friends, unless they ask me if I want to do drugs. Then I say, "I like you, but I don't like drugs. Let's practice kissing instead!" That usually cures my problem of having any friends.