Our home room class got a new class mascot! It's a rat, and we named him Mr. Cutesworth. Well, a couple of kids wanted to name him Dr. Molly "Turnpike" Mills, but Mrs. Campbell stepped in.

My friends are all going nuts about remixing weird vintage postcards, but I'd rather spend my time reading comics. The new issue of Fist-Fighting Princess vs. The Bobcat Fiends just came out!

My mom says I'm playing too many video games and getting too fat. So now when I get home from school, I have to swim for an hour before she'll let me in the house. I told her that all of my friends are way fatter than I am, and you know what she said? She said, "Give a man a fish and he'll eat for a day, Coors Light." I mean, what does that even mean?