Meet the Hobos
(special thanks to John Hodgman)

Normal: Wallace "Two-Teeth" Brooks

Hot: Jacky O'Kelly, the Cigar-Butt-Flicker

Cold: Abominable Clancy "Bluelips" Allen, the Witch's Teat in a Cast-Iron Bra

Stench: Sewerbaby Earl "Spitstink" Shafer, the Guy Who Eats Nothing But Limburger Cheese

Spooky: Bony Dennis "Screaming Meemie" DuPree

Sleazy: Moe "Sex Box" Meadows

Crimbo: Thanatosdir Nutcracker, the White Crimbo Dreamer

The Hoboverlord sez: Can't... FIND it. Can't find the radish. MRS. Taylor's here.

Generate some more