Meet the Hobos
(special thanks to John Hodgman)

Normal: Del "Shuffleboard-Playin'" Buck

Hot: Pyrokinetic John, the Hobo On Fire

Cold: Toby Berry, the Pennsylvania Snowman

Stench: Curly Dunn, the Methane Man

Spooky: Noah Shatner, the Crypt Creeper

Sleazy: Heavy-Petting Sting, the Uncle Who's Not Really Your Uncle

Crimbo: Holly Jolly Parkerrod "Sweet Teeth" Turkeyblaster

The Hoboverlord sez: Mutter... TOO... many desks. Bananas? Shhhhhh...

Generate some more