Meet the Hobos
(special thanks to John Hodgman)

Normal: Ike "Mac" O'Reilly, the Duck Throttler

Hot: Hunka Hunka Burnin' Bix Taylor, the Sweltering Sauna Sitter

Cold: Merle "Snowball" Mills, the Hazy Shade of Winter

Stench: T. J. Wilson, the Hobo of Eternal Stench

Spooky: Cemetery-Sleepin' Chrysler "Boneyard" Hernandez, the Tommyknocker Man

Sleazy: Russian-Fingers Clive "Too Much Information" Thompson

Crimbo: Holly Jolly Johnnybor Navidad, Who May Or May Not Be Home For Crimbo

The Hoboverlord sez: Don't be a club. Look out... Growl... Stab the trolley?

Generate some more