Meet the Hobos
(special thanks to John Hodgman)

Normal: Linty Simon, the Hobo in the Iron Mask

Hot: Burninatin' Leonard Miller

Cold: John "Liquid Nitrogen" Steadwick

Stench: Awful Stench Dwight, the Stankmaster

Spooky: Six-Feet-Under Ralph "Goosepimples" Berry

Sleazy: Lewd Slim Stemple, the Inappropriate Kisser

Crimbo: Stocking-Stuffin' Edgarwen Cookiebaker, the Holly Hanger

The Hoboverlord sez: Which table? TELL me which table. Desks?

Generate some more