Meet the Hobos
(special thanks to John Hodgman)

Normal: Amazon Ferris, Esq.

Hot: Jack Isaacson, the Brimstone Bumpkin

Cold: Frozen Fingers Slim "Icebox" Berry

Stench: Charlie Pennington, the Rotten-Egg-Tosser

Spooky: Cemetery-Sleepin' Agamemnon "Gives You the Jibblies" Allen

Sleazy: Grabby Woody, the Suggestive Winker

Crimbo: Willardion "Still Believes" Mistletoestringer

The Hoboverlord sez: Where's my WINDOW? Growl... How many lamps.

Generate some more