Meet the Hobos
(special thanks to John Hodgman)

Normal: Twink Tyler, the Waterproof Man

Hot: Harry "The Back Burner" Nite

Cold: Yeti Simon, the Prehistoric Iceman

Stench: Sewerbaby Mark "Gym Clothes" Mott

Spooky: Victor "Braaaain-Cravin'" Walker, the Night Stalker

Sleazy: Uncensored Bert "Peeping Tom" Thomas

Crimbo: Jolly Ol' Docras "Chestnutter" Wenceslaus, the Decorator

The Hoboverlord sez: Radio? Pinch the boxcar?

Generate some more