Meet the Hobos
(special thanks to John Hodgman)

Normal: Gutthrower Alvin, the Bird-Headed Fool

Hot: Alan Allen, the Walking Stove

Cold: Merle DuPree, the Freezerburn Kid

Stench: Stinky Ol' Mark, the Rotten-Egg-Tosser

Spooky: Spooky Ricky, the Amateur Necromancer

Sleazy: Peepin' Yuri "Bad Touch" Young, the Human Stain

Crimbo: Jamesellas Treetopper, the Ubiquitous Music that Grates on your Ears after Two Minutes

The Hoboverlord sez: Don't be... A egg. GOTTA wiggle the... weightlifter.

Generate some more