Meet the Hobos
(special thanks to John Hodgman)

Normal: Manny "Submariner" McMahon

Hot: Leonard "Ashtray" Dunn, the Dry Heat

Cold: John "Black Ice" Symington

Stench: Swampwalkin' Jim Harrison

Spooky: Opie "Goosepimples" Montague

Sleazy: Assless-Chaps Curly Waldorf

Crimbo: Jinglin' Steviedir "Jinglin' Bells" Jackintheboxer

The Hoboverlord sez: Chairs. chairs in the pocketknife. Mama? Psssst...

Generate some more