Meet the Hobos
(special thanks to John Hodgman)

Normal: Harry "The Kitten" Brown, the Many-Bearded

Hot: Steam-Powered Jedediah Madison, the Inflammable Man

Cold: Snowman-Makin' Freddy Washington

Stench: Glenn "Smelly" Draper

Spooky: Barney "Hemp Dance" Johnson, the Tommyknocker Man

Sleazy: Terry "Pinky Ring" O'Kelly, the Wolf-Whistler

Crimbo: Toy-Train-Makin' Gavindir Treetrimmer

The Hoboverlord sez: Hmmmmmmm... Don't be a porch swing. Remember the pastry? Fafafa...

Generate some more