Meet the Hobos
(special thanks to John Hodgman)

Normal: Judge Dookie "Kobold Lips" McCartney, the Rich Man's Poor Man

Hot: Smokin' Yuri Garcia, the Felonious Firebrand

Cold: Avalanche Dave "Don't Get Your Tongue Stuck To Him" Dunn

Stench: Maybe-It's-Hormonal Doc "Underarms" Rutgers, the Hobo Who Sleeps With the Pigs

Spooky: Alan "Gives You the Jibblies" Berry, Who Sings Nursery Rhymes in a High-Pitched Voice While Delicately Caressing a Straight Razor

Sleazy: Judas Nelson, the Guy Who Was Kicked Out of the Frat House for Misogynistic Behavior

Crimbo: Gift-Wrappin' Pippinien, Who May Or May Not Be Home For Crimbo

The Hoboverlord sez: Psssst... Where's my pocketknife? I know Mrs. Simon. Fafafa...

Generate some more