Meet the Hobos
(special thanks to John Hodgman)

Normal: Paco Adams, the Scientist

Hot: Napalm Craig Des Moines, the Roman Candelabra

Cold: Snowflake Sy "Absolute Zero" Des Moines, the Ice Cube Cowboy

Stench: Stinky Ol' Diego "Baron von Stinkyfish" Martinez

Spooky: Cletus "Jack Ketch" Belvedere, the Bloody-Aproned

Sleazy: Clayton "Greasy Ponytail" Williams

Crimbo: Chimney-Divin' Archiedir "Teddybear" Bowtier, the Mistletoe Bandit

The Hoboverlord sez: Do you know Grandpa? Watch it... Watermelons IN the pork chop.

Generate some more