Meet the Hobos
(special thanks to John Hodgman)

Normal: Whiskeyblood Theodore "Teen Heartthrob" Taylor, the Boneyard Concierge

Hot: Steve "Firebird" Martinez

Cold: Abominable Alvin "Icebox" Noriega, the World's Most Violent Eskimo

Stench: Pickles Haggard, the Hobo Who Sleeps With the Pigs

Spooky: Mickey "Reaperman" Wilson

Sleazy: Adults-Only Louis O'Kelly

Crimbo: Stanielfindel "The Crimbone" Turkeyblaster

The Hoboverlord sez: How many clubs. Coats. coats IN the table.

Generate some more