Meet the Hobos
(special thanks to John Hodgman)

Normal: Hot Fuzz T. J. "Pelican" Goldthwait, the San Francisco Treat

Hot: Parker "Brimstone" Johnson, the Heatstroke Kid

Cold: Abominable Emil Mott

Stench: Gangrene-Riddled Holden, the Odoriffic

Spooky: Two-Feet-in-the-Grave Willard, the Hobosferatu

Sleazy: Pete Jones, the Dirty Jokester

Crimbo: Meriadocorm "Goose" Giftwrapper

The Hoboverlord sez: Grandma's got a pork... chop. How... many chairs.

Generate some more