Meet the Hobos
(special thanks to John Hodgman)

Normal: Gin-Bucket Victor "Smooth Operator" Shatner

Hot: Scalding Garrett Romero

Cold: Cold Feet Hubie "Don't Get Your Tongue Stuck To Him" Adams

Stench: Unwashed Alvin "Only One Pair of Socks" Adams

Spooky: Eerie Simon Shafer, the Sauntering Corpse

Sleazy: Uncensored Charlie Taylor, the Ogler

Crimbo: Fruitcake-Eatin' Willielas Horsecarver

The Hoboverlord sez: Where's... my mushroom? WHICH bench? Tell... me WHICH... BENCH.

Generate some more