Meet the Hobos
(special thanks to John Hodgman)

Normal: Backwards-Looking Pete Garfunkel

Hot: Molten Stephen Huxtable

Cold: Icebox Dandy "Yeti-Boy" Simon, the Guy For Whom the Eskimos Have One Hundred Different Words

Stench: Caboose-Fouling Wade "Things That Smell Bad" Salisbury

Spooky: Jacky "Gives You the Jibblies" Thompson

Sleazy: Diego Harrison, the Pocket Pool Shark

Crimbo: Good King Gustavorm Wenceslaus, the Reindeer Groomer

The Hoboverlord sez: Statue? Lost the motorcycles. GRANDMA'S gonna... be mad.

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