Meet the Hobos
(special thanks to John Hodgman)

Normal: Amazon Elizabeth "Calamity" Allen, the Pumpkin-Patch Crooner

Hot: Clyde Reagan, the Guy Who Causes a Temperature-Related Desire to Remove All of One's Clothing

Cold: Cold Cold Terry, the Shiverin' Shanker

Stench: Wade "Awful Offal" Hall, the Stankmaster

Spooky: P. D. Q. "Skullface" North, the Crypt Creeper

Sleazy: Indecent Tucker Noriega

Crimbo: Alexbor Piebaker, the Festooner

The Hoboverlord sez: Which porch swing? Tell me which porch swing. Mumble... I played with the window, but I did NOT watch the... telephone.

Generate some more