Meet the Hobos
(special thanks to John Hodgman)

Normal: Carl Easthouse, the Human Shark

Hot: Brendan Johnson, Who Is Hot, Hot, So Hot, Sticky Sweet

Cold: Glacier Harold, the Pennsylvania Snowman

Stench: Nicky McDonald, the Dead Man, Judging by the Smell

Spooky: Spooky Del, the Grim Panhandler

Sleazy: Assless-Chaps Moe "Speedo" Williams, the Unrated Version

Crimbo: Mickrod Wreathweaver, Who Lets It Snow

The Hoboverlord sez: Growl... CAN'T find it. Can't find the junk. Psssst... Statue?

Generate some more