Meet the Hobos
(special thanks to John Hodgman)

Normal: Slo-Mo Perry, the Tapdancing Trombo

Hot: Larry "Solar Flare" Johnson

Cold: Icicle Frederick Rodriguez

Stench: Sewerbaby Newton "Lavatory" Washington

Spooky: Cemetery-Sleepin' Opie Harris

Sleazy: Lecherous Charlie, the Guy Who Does Not Have a Pencil in His Pocket

Crimbo: Edgarroth "Goose" Giftwrapper

The Hoboverlord sez: Gotta eat THE DESK. Trolleys?

Generate some more