Meet the Hobos
(special thanks to John Hodgman)

Normal: Crumbjacket Leo, the Enigma Machine

Hot: Pan-Fried Horus Harris

Cold: Frederick "Mr. Sleet" Pennington

Stench: Awful Stench Roy, the Rotten Meat Vendor

Spooky: Earl "Bogeyman" Montague

Sleazy: Inappropriate For Mixed Company Manuel, the Uncle Who's Not Really Your Uncle

Crimbo: Carolin' Buckron "Feast of Stephen" Jackintheboxer

The Hoboverlord sez: Grandpa? Which mailbox? Tell me WHICH mailbox.

Generate some more