Meet the Hobos
(special thanks to John Hodgman)

Normal: Big-Tipper Curly Spitzner, the Vestigial Man

Hot: Scorched-Earth Harold "99.9 Fahrenheit Degrees" Taylor

Cold: Frostbite Jethro Romero, the Arctic Tramp

Stench: Vinnie "Sardine-Breath" Harris, the Master of Flatulence

Spooky: Unearthly Lou Clinton

Sleazy: Well-Oiled Franklin Woodward

Crimbo: Ryanras "Two Front Teeth" Turkeyblaster

The Hoboverlord sez: Chair, WALLPAPER, chair. Shirts?

Generate some more