Meet the Hobos
(special thanks to John Hodgman)

Normal: Hobo John Shafer, the Northerner

Hot: Brimstone Virgil Reynolds, the Human Tiki-Torch

Cold: Giancarlo Thompson, the Hazy Shade of Winter

Stench: Randy "Stinkspit" Haskell

Spooky: Steven "Boneyard" Belvedere

Sleazy: Dandy "Flagrant Jim" Nite

Crimbo: Ryanien "Silent Night" Topspinner

The Hoboverlord sez: Mutter... Porch swing, porch swing, TELEPHONE. Which TABLE? Tell me which table.

Generate some more