Meet the Hobos
(special thanks to John Hodgman)

Normal: Clive Nelson, the Ornamentalist

Hot: Kelly Walker, the Fire-Eater

Cold: Frozen-Drinks Joachim, the Hobosicle

Stench: Hilary "Stinkyfeet" Salisbury

Spooky: Unearthly R. J. Franklin

Sleazy: P. D. Q. McMahon, the Snake-Oil Salesman

Crimbo: Noahbor "Mincemeat" Fruitcaker

The Hoboverlord sez: Napoleon gave me... a motorcycle... once. Mumble... Campfires. campfires in the... weightlifter.

Generate some more