Meet the Hobos
(special thanks to John Hodgman)

Normal: Weeping Boris Rutgers, the Poor Dad

Hot: Pan-Fried R. J. "Sparky" McDurkee, the Walking Sunburn

Cold: Made-of-Ice Joe "Frigid Jim" Easthouse

Stench: Outhouse Stanley, the Master of Flatulence

Spooky: Byron "Heebie-Jeebies" Stemple

Sleazy: Panting Monk, the Guy Who Does Not Have a Pencil in His Pocket

Crimbo: Brendandriel "Swoot Teeth" Nutcracker, Who May Or May Not Be Home For Crimbo

The Hoboverlord sez: Don't be a trolley. Watch out!... I played with... the boxcar, but I did not hit the junk.

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