Meet the Hobos
(special thanks to John Hodgman)

Normal: Plausible Nettles, the President's Long-Lost Brother

Hot: Hair-on-Fire Elizabeth Khan

Cold: Ice-Covered Pickles, the Polar Express

Stench: Nauseatin' T. J. Nipperus, the Odoriffic

Spooky: Wes Craven's Oliver "Boneyard" Westinghouse, the Tommyknocker Man

Sleazy: T. J. "Lingering Hug" Haskell

Crimbo: Gingerbread Dwightdir, the Ubiquitous Music that Grates on your Ears after Two Minutes

The Hoboverlord sez: Grumble... BUY the... banana? Shhhhhh... Tables?

Generate some more