Meet the Hobos
(special thanks to John Hodgman)

Normal: Cricket-Eating R. T. Smith, the Lumberjack Mormon

Hot: Morris "Arson" Smith

Cold: Willard Tyler, the Fallen Snow-Angel

Stench: Mark McMahon, the Fustulent Crack

Spooky: Deathly Slim, the Eldritch Mist

Sleazy: Stan O'Reilly, Who Looks Down Your Shirt

Crimbo: Elizabethuvel Canecandier, the Sleigh Bell Polisher

The Hoboverlord sez: TABLE, porch swing, table. Tell me... Do you... know Brooks?

Generate some more