Meet the Hobos
(special thanks to John Hodgman)

Normal: Forgot-His-PIN Grant, the Alien Pod-Person

Hot: Fire-Eatin' Mick Smith, the Roman Candelabra

Cold: H. R. Khan, the Too-Cold Ice Baby

Stench: Jocko "Garlic Press" Brown, the Methane Man

Spooky: Uncanny Sven, the Hobosferatu

Sleazy: Risqué Stevie, the Guy Who Does Not Have a Pencil in His Pocket

Crimbo: Joy-to-the Zanefindel "Two Front Teeth" Teddystuffer

The Hoboverlord sez: Where's my weightlifter? Papa?

Generate some more