Meet the Hobos
(special thanks to John Hodgman)

Normal: Manny "Hamburger" Taylor

Hot: Pyrokinetic Andre Rodriguez

Cold: Lamont McNichols, the Ice Cream of the Future

Stench: Noah Draper, the Man Who Should Probably Change His Socks

Spooky: Dead-eyed Ike Garfield

Sleazy: Moist Manuel Brown

Crimbo: Candy-Cane-Suckin' Manuelron, the Mistletoe Bandit

The Hoboverlord sez: MAILBOX. mailbox in the... boxcar. Avoid the boxcar?

Generate some more