Meet the Hobos
(special thanks to John Hodgman)

Normal: Unidentifiable Walter "Submariner" McDurkee

Hot: Mark "Briquette" Clark, the Kerosene Kid

Cold: Frosty Davenport, the Too-Cold Ice Baby

Stench: Nasty-Smellin' Brucie "Stinkpalm" Jones

Spooky: Andre "Mass-Murderin'" Walker, the Corpse Groom

Sleazy: Dennis "Greasy Ponytail" Smith, the Grade School Loiterer

Crimbo: Eggnog-Gulpin' Malvoliodreth "Chestnutter" Taffypuller, the One Who Waits Under the Mistletoe

The Hoboverlord sez: Watermelons in the radish. Are YOU Mrs. Mills?

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