Meet the Hobos
(special thanks to John Hodgman)

Normal: General R. T., the Scratcher

Hot: R. T. "Several Hundred Degrees" Washington, the Roman Candelabra

Cold: Snowflake Molly "Anti-antifreeze" Simon, the Snowball-Tosser

Stench: Reynaldo "Gag-A-Maggot" Steadwick, the Human Stinkbomb

Spooky: Yuri "Deadeye" Shannahan, the Amateur Necromancer

Sleazy: Joe Harris, the Human Stain

Crimbo: Chimney-Divin' Martinras Tinselstringer

The Hoboverlord sez: Pork chops? I'm looking for Old Man Symington.

Generate some more