Meet the Hobos
(special thanks to John Hodgman)

Normal: Flour-Dusted Sam, the Duck Throttler

Hot: Buck "Fireball" Disraeli, the Walking Sunburn

Cold: Elizabeth Smith, the Little Fonzie (And What's Fonzie Like?)

Stench: Awful Stench Clyde, the Nonbather

Spooky: Cemetery-Skulkin' Harold, the Shambling Man

Sleazy: Ricky "Peeping Tom" McNichols

Crimbo: Reindeer-Taunting Redellas Fudgeboxer, the Wreath Wrangler

The Hoboverlord sez: Mumble mumble... Which mailbox? Tell me which mailbox. Window, breakfast, window.

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