Meet the Hobos
(special thanks to John Hodgman)

Normal: Diego Nichols, the Star-Traveler

Hot: Torches-For-Hands Eustace Noriega, the Man Who Burns Like Burning

Cold: Emil "Really Cold Extremities" Romero

Stench: Trashcan Jim, the Filth Merchant

Spooky: Scary Alistair Davis

Sleazy: Heavy-Breathing Pickles Thompson

Crimbo: Cookie-Bakin' Aldousdreth Dolldresser

The Hoboverlord sez: Grumble... Which radio? Tell me which... radio. Park the bench, park the bench. One time...

Generate some more