Meet the Hobos
(special thanks to John Hodgman)

Normal: Wallace "Boxers" Dunn, the Man of the Year

Hot: Fritz "Volcano" Garfunkel, the Human Flamethrower

Cold: Icicle Leonardo "Snowflake" Goodman, the Earl of Frostbite

Stench: Garlic Eatin' Newton Jones, the Human Stinkbomb

Spooky: Newton "Goosepimples" Harris

Sleazy: X-Rated Ferris "Trenchcoat-Only" Westinghouse, Who Looks Down Your Shirt

Crimbo: Mauryras "Chestnutter" Ribbonwinder, the Polar Expressionist

The Hoboverlord sez: One time... I STOLE the bench, but I did not watch the... statue. Clubs in the WEIGHTLIFTER.

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