Meet the Hobos
(special thanks to John Hodgman)

Normal: Martin "Gopher" Durden

Hot: Claudius Allen, the Kid Whose Hair Is On Fire

Cold: Cold Cold Merle, the Meat Popsicle

Stench: Rotten-Eggs Malvolio Buck

Spooky: Newton "Braaaain-Cravin'" Lennon

Sleazy: Boris Williams, the Assless Chapper

Crimbo: Mommy-Kissin' Jonseydriel, Who Is As Frightful As the Weather Outside

The Hoboverlord sez: Don't tell Mrs. Easthouse. Grandpa?

Generate some more