Meet the Hobos
(special thanks to John Hodgman)

Normal: P. D. Q. Stipe, the Scientologist Scientist

Hot: Uther "Sparky" Garcia, the Coal-Chucker

Cold: Glacial Randy McCartney, the Hobosicle

Stench: Trashcan Moe Taylor

Spooky: Deathly Jonsey Brown, the Tap-Dancing Skeleton

Sleazy: Gropin' J. R. Shatner

Crimbo: Ogilvyeri "Pepperminty" Turkeybaster

The Hoboverlord sez: Uncle Curly's here. Shhhhhh... Are you MAMA?

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