Meet the Hobos
(special thanks to John Hodgman)

Normal: Riemann's Larry "The Neck" Lennon, the Amityville Horror

Hot: Steven "Sparky" Peterson

Cold: Glacier Brendan, the Ice Cube Cowboy

Stench: Halitosis Floyd Mack, the Hobo Who Breaks Like the Wind

Spooky: Skeletonesque Travis "Heebie-Jeebies" Shatner

Sleazy: Sting "Trans-Fat" Cooper

Crimbo: Utherdir "Still Believes" Horsecarver, the Sleigh Bell Ringer

The Hoboverlord sez: I'm looking for Napoleon. Can't find it. Can't... find the window.

Generate some more