Meet the Hobos
(special thanks to John Hodgman)

Normal: Hamburger Joey, the Ombudsman

Hot: Fire-Breathin' Ulrich Goodman, the Sterno Connoisseur

Cold: James "Black Ice" Franklin, the Arctic Circular

Stench: Stinky Ol' Victor, the Hobo Who Breaks Like the Wind

Spooky: Maury "Creepy Jim" Lee, the Tommyknocker Man

Sleazy: Roy "Sweaty-Palms" Waldorf, the Guy Who Works the Ferris Wheel at the County Fair

Crimbo: Jonasbor Navidad, the Gaily Appareled

The Hoboverlord sez: I know GRANDMA. Tell me... Watch the bench?

Generate some more