Meet the Hobos
(special thanks to John Hodgman)

Normal: Boxcar T. J., the Bedazzler

Hot: Fire-Breathin' Enid, the Sterno Connoisseur

Cold: Ulrich "Frostbite" O'Sullivan

Stench: Garbage Juice Jake "Swampy" Brown, the Human Stinkbomb

Spooky: Skeletal Diego Clinton

Sleazy: Johnny "Lingering Hug" Smith, the Guy Who Casually Brushes Up Against You Way Too Often for It to Be a Coincidence

Crimbo: Sleigh-Ride Buckorm "Sugar-plums" Canecandier

The Hoboverlord sez: Lost THE campfires. Old Man Durden's gonna... be mad. Watch it... Too many boxcars.

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