Meet the Hobos
(special thanks to John Hodgman)

Normal: Dunstan Johnson, the Hairless

Hot: Zaxxon "Arson" Montague

Cold: P. T. "Wind Chill" O'Kelly, the Refrigerator Coil

Stench: Maybe-It's-Hormonal Mitch "Sulfur-Eatin'" Nite, the Man Who Should Probably Change His Underwear, Like, Now

Spooky: Putrefying Manny Rutgers

Sleazy: Carl "Trans-Fat" Pennington, the Guy Who Casually Brushes Up Against You Way Too Often for It to Be a Coincidence

Crimbo: Wassailin' Billy Bobuil, the Polar Expressionist

The Hoboverlord sez: Mushrooms? Gotta wiggle the pork chop.

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