Meet the Hobos
(special thanks to John Hodgman)

Normal: Thoughtless Alistair Sullivan, the Dumpster Archaeologist

Hot: Napalm J. R. Meadows

Cold: Penguin Fritz, the Guy For Whom the Eskimos Have One Hundred Different Words

Stench: Foul-Smelling Twink, the Rotten-Egg-Tosser

Spooky: Uncanny T. J. "Bogeyman" Woodward, the Boogity Man

Sleazy: Lewd-Behavin' Ryan Harris, the Wolf-Whistler

Crimbo: Candy-Cane-Suckin' Vinnieron Belljingler, the Nut Cracker

The Hoboverlord sez: Pork CHOP, pork CHOP, banana. Are you Grandma?

Generate some more