Meet the Hobos
(special thanks to John Hodgman)

Normal: Experimental John "Margarine" Nichols, Esq.

Hot: Achilles "Fahrenheit 151" Paulson

Cold: Frostbite Jacky Huxtable

Stench: Unwashed H. R. "Gas-Passin'" Thomas

Spooky: Dead-eyed Roy Nelson

Sleazy: Woody Draper, the Bottom Pincher

Crimbo: Teddriel Fudgeboxer, the Ubiquitous Music that Grates on your Ears after Two Minutes

The Hoboverlord sez: Clubs? Mumble... The Pope?

Generate some more