Meet the Hobos
(special thanks to John Hodgman)

Normal: Bell's-Palsy Roy Durden, the Pumpkin-Patch Crooner

Hot: Saul "Afterburner" Steadwick

Cold: Teeth-Chattering R. T. Mack, the Earl of Frostbite

Stench: Stinky Lou, the Nose Exploder

Spooky: Dead-eyed Jim, the Evil-Eyed

Sleazy: Moist Hilary Benedict

Crimbo: Stocking-Stuffin' Dwightien, the Little Drummer Boy

The Hoboverlord sez: Toast, toast, radish. PORCH swings. porch SWINGS in the BOXCAR. I know...

Generate some more