Meet the Hobos
(special thanks to John Hodgman)

Normal: Friend of Beasts Sting "Railroad Tracks" Walker

Hot: Fire-Breathin' Shemp "Magma" Bush

Cold: Snowman-Makin' Curly, the Arctic Tramp

Stench: Jack Hernandez, the Unidentifiable Smell

Spooky: Putrescent Marlon King

Sleazy: Vincent "Too Much Information" Taylor

Crimbo: Duncanbimbor "Pa-Rum-Pa-Pum-Pum" Halldecker, the Reindeer Groomer

The Hoboverlord sez: Do you know Papa? JUNKS IN the... train.

Generate some more