Meet the Hobos
(special thanks to John Hodgman)

Normal: Vinnie "Bud" Walker

Hot: Brimstone T. J. Noriega

Cold: Polar-Bear Hondo, the Earl of Frostbite

Stench: Caboose-Fouling Horus, the Sulfuric Wonder

Spooky: Gothic Horror Dave, the Guy With Little Mouths Where His Eyes Should Be

Sleazy: Well-Oiled Raph, the Uncle Who's Not Really Your Uncle

Crimbo: Theodoreorm "Stuffed Stocking" Turkeyblaster

The Hoboverlord sez: Which shirt? Tell me which shirt. The Pope's... GOT... a pork chop.

Generate some more