Meet the Hobos
(special thanks to John Hodgman)

Normal: Eddie Noriega, the Alien Pod-Person

Hot: Buck McDurkee, the Walking Stove

Cold: Timmy "Coolerator" Garcia, the Guy With Icewater In His Veins But Probably Not Literally

Stench: Garlic Eatin' Abe, Who Is Extremely Funky But Not In a Good Way

Spooky: Dead Guy Huckleberry "Graverobber" Hathaway, Whose Clothes Are Made out of Suspiciously Pale Leather

Sleazy: Quinn "Overshare" Haggard

Crimbo: Good King Zaxxonroth "The Crimbone" Treetrimmer

The Hoboverlord sez: Trains. trains IN the breakfast. Buy the coat, buy... the coat.

Generate some more