Meet the Hobos
(special thanks to John Hodgman)

Normal: Huckleberry Woodward, Who Isn't Right in the Head

Hot: Steam Vent Opie, the Heatstroke Kid

Cold: Glacial Freddy "Freezerburn" Goodman, the Temperature at which Revenge is Best Served

Stench: Old Milk Niles Pennington, Who Has Never Bathed Ever

Spooky: Bad Dream Duncan "Mass-Murderin'" Buck

Sleazy: Adults-Only Charlie Roosevelt, the Uncle Who's Not Really Your Uncle

Crimbo: Toy-Doll-Makin' Pontiusien Toypacker

The Hoboverlord sez: Fafafa... Thompson's got a radish. Shhhhhh... It's The Pope, The Pope is...

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