Meet the Hobos
(special thanks to John Hodgman)

Normal: Conway Stipe, the Bedazzler

Hot: Flame-Throwin' Woody "Arson" Harris

Cold: Popsicle Marlon, the Indifferent Stare of a Former Lover

Stench: Yancy "Sir Reeksalot" Berry

Spooky: Ghoulish Cholly, the Fingerbone Collector

Sleazy: Colin "Trans-Fat" Durden

Crimbo: Tinsel-Strewn Paulrod "Tinsel Toes" Treetrimmer, the Little Drummer Boy

The Hoboverlord sez: Boxcars? Mutter... DO... you know Old Man Clinton? Mutter...

Generate some more