Meet the Hobos
(special thanks to John Hodgman)

Normal: Indiana Dandy Waldorf

Hot: Hotter-Than-The-Sun Walter, the Red-Hot Poker

Cold: Glacial Roy Pennington, the Snowball-Tosser

Stench: Stinky Ol' Slim Stipe

Spooky: Jonas "Ghoulicious" Thompson

Sleazy: Gustav "Close-Talking" Montague, the Too-Slow Streaker

Crimbo: Tinsel-Strewn Lewisuvel, the Reindeer Groomer

The Hoboverlord sez: How... many telephones. I'm looking for Grandpa.

Generate some more