Meet the Hobos
(special thanks to John Hodgman)

Normal: Hamburger H. R. Sanford, the Scratcher

Hot: Ember-Jugglin' Giles Roosevelt

Cold: Cold Shoulders Bill Bush

Stench: Garlic Eatin' Jethro "Stinkyfinger" Young, the Sultan of Stink

Spooky: Six-Feet-Under Alvin Tyler

Sleazy: Uncensored J. R. Harris, the Suggestive Winker

Crimbo: Mommy-Kissin' Isaiahdir Turducken, the Sleigh Bell Polisher

The Hoboverlord sez: Cup OF coffee? Watch out!... Have you seen The Pope?

Generate some more