Meet the Hobos
(special thanks to John Hodgman)

Normal: Clancy "Two-Teeth" Taylor, of the Hill People

Hot: Ember-Jugglin' Harold, the Insanely Feverish

Cold: Snowman-Makin' Nettles "Chilly Willy" Steadwick, the Alabama Iceberg

Stench: Riff "Sulfur-Eatin'" Johnson

Spooky: Wes Craven's Simon "Graverobber" Mills

Sleazy: Hubie "Vaseline" Robinson, the Assless Chapper

Crimbo: Bowl-Full-of-Jelly Monkras Fruitcaker

The Hoboverlord sez: I know Grandma. Where's Mama?

Generate some more