Meet the Hobos
(special thanks to John Hodgman)

Normal: Professor Brendan, the Scientist

Hot: Manuel Jackson, the Inferno

Cold: Wilbur "Mr. Freeze" Clinton, the Hazy Shade of Winter

Stench: Garlic Eatin' Peter Haskell

Spooky: Reasonably Frightening Alistair Madison

Sleazy: Lewd-Behavin' Boris, the Pocket Pool Shark

Crimbo: Borisuil Treetopper, the White Crimbo Dreamer

The Hoboverlord sez: Grumble... Watermelons? Napoleon's here.

Generate some more