Meet the Hobos
(special thanks to John Hodgman)

Normal: Eyepatch Noah "Taco" Sanford, Esq.

Hot: Hotter-Than-The-Sun Curly, the Fire-Eater

Cold: Blizzard Dale, the Arctic Tramp

Stench: Unwashed Conway "Pitstain" Lennon, the Hobo Who Breaks Like the Wind

Spooky: Reasonably Frightening Chrysler Stemple

Sleazy: Peepshow Ike, the Suggestive Winker

Crimbo: Maxuvel "All Cavities" Cookiebaker

The Hoboverlord sez: Don't be... a boxcar. Grumble... Look out... How many RADIOS.

Generate some more