Meet the Hobos
(special thanks to John Hodgman)

Normal: Raph Brown, the Vestigial Man

Hot: Fireball Dandy "The Back Burner" Shatner

Cold: Huckleberry "Blizzard" Bush

Stench: Midden Ted "Halitosis" Haggard

Spooky: Riff "Boo" Peterson

Sleazy: Risque Andy Davis, the Human Leer

Crimbo: Tobyion "Pudding" Belljingler

The Hoboverlord sez: Grumble... Park... the radio? Tell me... How many desks. Watch it...

Generate some more