Meet the Hobos
(special thanks to John Hodgman)

Normal: Mark "High School Sweetheart" Allen

Hot: Flame-Throwin' Jacky "Hot Sauce" Paulson, the Sidewalk Egg-Fryer

Cold: Ice-Covered Alistair Berry, the Human Zamboni

Stench: Nauseatin' Alistair "Midden" Montague, the Filth Merchant

Spooky: Uncanny-Valley Elmer, the Bony-Fingered Creep

Sleazy: James Clinton, the Guy Who Was Kicked Out of the Frat House for Misogynistic Behavior

Crimbo: Ikeeri Wenceslaus, the One Who Waits Under the Mistletoe

The Hoboverlord sez: Where's my breakfast? Weightlifters?

Generate some more