Meet the Hobos
(special thanks to John Hodgman)

Normal: Astonishing Virgil, the Boneyard Concierge

Hot: Boiling H. R. O'Sullivan

Cold: Clarence Washington, the Meat Popsicle

Stench: Willard "Halitosis" Waldorf

Spooky: Dreadful Red Robinson, the Galloping Ghoul

Sleazy: Timmy "Speedo" Shatner

Crimbo: Jinglin' Joeyrond Bowtier

The Hoboverlord sez: Thompson? Where's Mrs. Washington?

Generate some more