Meet the Hobos
(special thanks to John Hodgman)

Normal: Pelican Vincent, the Explorer

Hot: Franklin "Briquette" Spitzner

Cold: Arctic Jake, the Refrigerator Coil

Stench: Travis "Baron von Stinkyfish" Clinton

Spooky: Hilary "Boneyard" O'Sullivan

Sleazy: Stan "Overshare" Zevon

Crimbo: Maxdreth "Teddybear" Topspinner, the Decorator

The Hoboverlord sez: Circus? I'm looking for Uncle JOE.

Generate some more