Meet the Hobos
(special thanks to John Hodgman)

Normal: Homunculus Molly "The Neck" Woodward

Hot: Zane O'Reilly, the Magmagician

Cold: Doc "Mr. Sleet" Adams

Stench: Maybe-It's-Hormonal Colin Westinghouse

Spooky: Niles Brooks, the Boogity Man

Sleazy: Off-Color Billy Bob Spitzner

Crimbo: Jelly-Filled Dennisbimbor Giftwrapper

The Hoboverlord sez: Hit the trolley? Watermelons in the campfire.

Generate some more