Meet the Hobos
(special thanks to John Hodgman)

Normal: Cambridge Massachusetts Ignatz Dunn

Hot: Hotter-Than-The-Sun Malvolio, the Sweltering Sauna Sitter

Cold: Cold Feet Daddy "The Snowman" Paulson, the Hazy Shade of Winter

Stench: Garbage Juice Buck Thomas

Spooky: Willie "Goosepimples" Meadows

Sleazy: Lewd Opie Haggard

Crimbo: Joewen Teddystuffer, the Mistletoe Bandit

The Hoboverlord sez: WHERE'S my table? Where's Papa?

Generate some more