Meet the Hobos
(special thanks to John Hodgman)

Normal: Double Stuff Dan Lewis, the Colchester Kid

Hot: Burninatin' Steven "Magma" Lee

Cold: Icecubes Agamemnon Smith

Stench: Flatulent Mark, the Sulfuric Wonder

Spooky: Coffin-Breath Pickles Davis

Sleazy: Horus "Shoe-Mirrors" Brown

Crimbo: Good King Stanleyras, Who Lets It Snow

The Hoboverlord sez: How many boxcars. Papa, Papa, eat the junks. Grumble...

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