Meet the Hobos
(special thanks to John Hodgman)

Normal: Cal Woodward, His Own Twin

Hot: Flame-Broiled Lewis "Burn Ward" Haskell

Cold: Frigid Ike Tyler

Stench: Midden Woody Brown, the Human Dung Beetle

Spooky: Ghoulish Frederick "Boo" King

Sleazy: Pete Cooper, the Liplickin' Perv

Crimbo: Gift-Wrappin' Reynaldoellas Ribbonwinder

The Hoboverlord sez: Mailbox? THE Pope gave me a lamp once.

Generate some more