Meet the Hobos
(special thanks to John Hodgman)

Normal: Cletus "Narcissus" Hernandez

Hot: Dmitry King, the Kid Whose Hair Is On Fire

Cold: Yeti Alan Goldthwait

Stench: Foul-Smelling Noah, the Foul

Spooky: Skeletal P. D. Q. Young

Sleazy: Wade "Close-Talking" Brooks

Crimbo: Merry Huckleberryroth Turkeybaster, the Bell Jingler

The Hoboverlord sez: Watch out!... DON'T... be a telephone. MILKS. milks IN the... coat.

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