Meet the Hobos
(special thanks to John Hodgman)

Normal: Root Beer Pontius, the Dumpster Archaeologist

Hot: Pan-Fried Red, the Flame Belcher

Cold: Virgil "Hypothermia" Brown, the Snowball-Tosser

Stench: Emil O'Kelly, the Poopsmith

Spooky: Dennis Haskell, the Evil-Eyed

Sleazy: Peepin' Duncan Brown

Crimbo: Stephenion "Chestnutter" Dolldresser, the One Who Waits Under the Mistletoe

The Hoboverlord sez: CAN'T find it. Can't find the SHIRT. Psssst... I'm... looking for UNCLE Gustav.

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