Meet the Hobos
(special thanks to John Hodgman)

Normal: Gin-Bucket Willie "Casters on Crutches" Clinton, the Minuscule

Hot: Wallace Stemple, the Red-Hot Poker

Cold: Joe "Don't Get Your Tongue Stuck To Him" Lewis

Stench: Bath-Refusin' Todd Shannahan

Spooky: Nothing-But-Femurs Charlie "Lich Licker" Shatner

Sleazy: Slippery Toby Sullivan, the Liplickin' Perv

Crimbo: Pine-Scented Craigbor Kiteflyer, the Polar Expressionist

The Hoboverlord sez: Lost the bench. The Pope's gonna be mad. I know The... Pope.

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