Meet the Hobos
(special thanks to John Hodgman)

Normal: Free-Peanuts Pontius Black

Hot: Brimstone Yancy "Brimstone" Young

Cold: Arctic Colin, the Liquid-Nitrogen Man

Stench: Gag-Me-With-a-Spoon Kelly, the Guy Who Eats Nothing But Limburger Cheese

Spooky: Gothic Horror Harold, the Hobo Who Goes Bump in the Night

Sleazy: Off-Color Ollie "Overshare" Clark, the Guy Who Works the Ferris Wheel at the County Fair

Crimbo: Mauryien "Silver Bells" Turducken

The Hoboverlord sez: Are you Mrs. McDonald? Mrs. Smith's here.

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