Meet the Hobos
(special thanks to John Hodgman)

Normal: Mitch "Jetsam" Rodriguez

Hot: Propane-Fueled Duncan "Acetylene" Durden, the Cigar-Butt-Flicker

Cold: Northern Exposure Alan Berry

Stench: Necrotic-Limb Alan Jackson

Spooky: Skeletonesque Joachim Shafer, the Bony-Fingered Creep

Sleazy: Mitch McDurkee, the Balding Guy with a Greasy Ponytail

Crimbo: Candy-Munchin' Gilesdreth, Who Is As Frightful As the Weather Outside

The Hoboverlord sez: Too many... clubs. CAN'T FIND it. Can't find the pork chop.

Generate some more