Meet the Hobos
(special thanks to John Hodgman)

Normal: Sy "Salami Hog" Capulet, the Human Toothpick

Hot: Pippin "The Back Burner" Clark, the Cigar-Butt-Flicker

Cold: Polar-Bear Giancarlo Black

Stench: Ralph "Gas-Passin'" Garfield

Spooky: Clarence Jackson, the Dancin' Corpse

Sleazy: Off-Color Duncan "Ghastly" Bush

Crimbo: Ogilvyuvel "Swoot Tooth" Giftwrapper, the Tree Trimmer

The Hoboverlord sez: I'm looking FOR GRANDPA. I know... How many desks.

Generate some more