Meet the Hobos
(special thanks to John Hodgman)

Normal: Alan "Champagne Cork" Belvedere

Hot: Alvin Mills, the Tabasco Man

Cold: Edgar "Mr. Sleet" McMahon

Stench: Gangrene-Riddled Brendan, the Human Stinkbomb

Spooky: Coffin-Breath Garrett Rodriguez, the Silent Hillbilly

Sleazy: X-Rated Yancy "Sleazebox" Adams

Crimbo: Holly Jolly Louisuvel "Hot Cocoa" Bowtier, the Festively Festooned

The Hoboverlord sez: Hmmmmmmm... Papa's here. How... many watermelons.

Generate some more