Meet the Hobos
(special thanks to John Hodgman)

Normal: Forgot-His-PIN Clive "The Kitten" Williams

Hot: Scorchmarks Hubie "Conflagration" McDonald, the Tabasco Man

Cold: Abominable Curly, the Boston Penguin

Stench: Stinky Daddy, the Nose Exploder

Spooky: Cemetery-Skulkin' Buck, the Empty Eye Socket

Sleazy: Russian-Fingers Reynaldo Stemple

Crimbo: Gift-Wrappin' Shekkydreth, the Snowman Builder

The Hoboverlord sez: Statues... in the... egg. Shhhhhh... HAVE you seen Papa? Tell me...

Generate some more