| Lacking the patience to be a Mage and the brawn to be a Fighter, you decided to be the next best thing: a professional chef. Sadly, your recipe for scalded mini-quiches was unappreciated by the plebes in your tiny hometown of Cabbagetown, so you became a professional Thief instead. As luck would have it, you found yourself wandering through the sleepy village of Stubborn Mule just as the village people (you know, the construction worker, the cop, the Indian) were beset by the evil Lawyer Krampus, who had poisoned the town's hamster population. Against your better judgment (and with the hope of fat loot to come), you agreed to try and bring the villain to justice. You were kickin' ass and chewin' bubblegum until you got lost in a dungeon -- all the walls looked exactly the same! You did find a sweet entrenching tool +1 in a mind flayer's lair, though, and were able to intimidate some orphans into telling you where their boss's hideout was. Right before they stabbed you in the face. You holed up in a small storeroom with a lockable door, and spent several weeks resting until your hitpoints were back to full. Then, keeping a careful eye out for thieves, you made your way to the lair of Vampire Sorcerer Diabolico and the object of your quest. You thought he nearly had you when he summoned a foul mimic to his aid, but you put paid to the beast with your magic wand and knocked the villain screaming into a meat grinder with a well-placed kick to the arse. At last, the treasure was yours!
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