| It was hard growing up as a tavernkeep's son in the tiny hamlet of Dumpington, in the land of Flanders. The other children mocked you because of your glasses and asthma, but you would have the last laugh when you grew up to be a mighty Wizard! (Which you did.) One fateful day, you were strolling through the quiet village of Spazmotic when you met the town town crier. That worthy begged you to try and rescue the Poo-bah's simple nephew, who had been kidnapped by lizardmen. Having little to do except save the world from an evil sorcerer or whatever, you took the quest. You weren't having any problems but you soon were confounded by a fiendish color-matching puzzle, and by the time you figured out to solve it, you were infuriated as an underfed sugar glider. Bruised but unbroken, you readied your entrenching tool and marched forth into the darkness, where you were immediately captured by the Evil Sorcerer Arc'klor's army of ugly jocks. They hauled you before their master, but got bored and wandered off during his long gloating speech. Seeing your chance, you pushed the evil dweeb into his own lava pool, and escaped to claim your reward from the grateful people of Prefectford.
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