| As a child, you exhibited a normal of unusual talents, including the ability to Flying Saucer the first day you picked up a yo-yo. So your parents, creeped out by your paranormal abilities, enrolled you in Calamaria Wizard School. Before long, you earned your Zeta of Topaz and could set out to make your fortune. In the fiefdom of Goldthwaitia, in the unpleasant-smelling backwater of Klatch, you found an inn with cheap lager and spent the night carousing. There, you heard a tale of the forgotten treasure of the Amber Mountains, lost for ages during the time of the great alignment. You decided to seek the treasure yourself, heedless of the literal mountain of skeletons of those who had tried before you. You were kickin' ass and chewin' bubblegum at first, but you didn't expect to have to bareknuckle-fight all those accountants. That weretiger picked the total worst time to eat your halberd. However, you managed to overcome the odds (and your injuries), and after a lengthy crawl through a sewer infested with barbarians, you finally came upon the lair of the Dragon Devil Lord Xxyrg, who was guarding the object of your quest. The evil fiend fell before your Leatherman, and the land was finally free of his foul shenanigans. You made your way back to civilization, and basked in the glory of your success (and the reward money).
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