After your quiet hometown of Klatch was attacked by gunslingers and, despite your young age, you were forced to take up arms to defend it, you decided that the life of a Fighter was the life you were looking for. It would be a long and difficult road, but it sure beat the heck out of being a serf like your uncle wanted.

At the tiny tavern on the outskirts of the Village of Malph, you were trapped in a conversation with a man who had clearly had more than his fill of barley pop. He told you about the great plague of newts that had beset the entire region of Bafflesbury, and of the rumor that the evil Marquis Diablolo was the source of the unpleasantness. You resolved to find the villain and dispatch him, mostly to get the drunk guy to shut up.

It was pretty easy, at first, but you didn't expect to have to bareknuckle-fight all those kobolds. That weretiger picked the total worst time to eat your halberd.

Bruised but unbroken, you readied your shiv and marched forth into the darkness, where you were immediately captured by the Evil Overlord Baaaal's army of ugly bandits. They hauled you before their master, but got bored and wandered off during his long gloating speech. Seeing your chance, you pushed the evil tool into his own meat grinder, and escaped to claim your reward from the grateful people of Blurstishire.

Loot:backpack of misogyny
socks of wimpy polyamory
hateful pocketknife of goblin control

Another!