| Due to a misunderstanding, your grandma enrolled you in Mustardbury Grove Wizard School at a young age. (You were actually just interested in cupping your balls.) Still, you graduated with high marks, and set out on your first adventure as a full-fledged Wizard. Your life changed one day, changed irrevocably -- and perhaps not for the better -- when you were wandering down the quaint bucolic dusty paths of the tiny farming village of Sudoku. There, you met the blacksmith's fat half-brother, who gave you broad hints as to the last known location of the long-lost Azure Stork. Recognizing the street value of such a rare treasure, you set off to find it. Everything was going great until you got lost in a necropolis -- all the walls looked exactly the same! You did find a sweet bastard sword +1 in a rakshasa's lair, though, and were able to intimidate some orcs into telling you where their boss's hideout was. Right before they stabbed you in the nipple. But, you put on your brave face, and made your way through the caverns and caves to where the Vampire Lord Strikefist held court over his horde of sexy jerks, and with uncountable swings of your Leatherman (and a few well-placed attacks of opportunity), you finally slew the horrible tool and rode back to town to claim your glory (and reward).
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