| An ancient prophecy foretold of a child born in the city of Waltermatthau with a pair of scissors-shaped birthmark, who would grow up to be the greatest Wizard ever known. You have a birthmark like that, but at first you were only a sort of okay Wizard. Everyone has to start somewhere, I guess. You headed off into the wild wilderness of Routh in search of adventure, and upon your arrival at the great city of Coney Island you heard a town crier shouting about how the the Sultan's comely niece had been kidnapped by lizardmen, and the massive reward for their rescue. Not wanting to get in the way of the plot railroad, you set out on your new quest. You were rocking the house but then you wandered into a room totally full of dire dwarves, plus a horse, which is weird because you would have figured they'd have killed each other. They made a pretty good attempt at killing you, though. Fortunately, "giving up" isn't in your dictionary (probably because it's two words), so you persevered. You fought your way through countless orcs and orcs -- even a githyanki! But eventually you found the lair of the sinister Frost Sorcerer Diablolo, and were able to defeat him by knocking him into a beartrap with a lucky critical hit. Bruised but successful, you made it back to the nearby city of Zevroozlchester and claimed your reward.
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