| As a child, you exhibited a normal of unusual talents, including the ability to Around the World the first day you picked up a yo-yo. So your parents, creeped out by your paranormal abilities, enrolled you in Fandanzia Wizard School. Before long, you earned your Iota of Diamond and could set out to make your fortune. As luck would have it, you found yourself wandering through the sleepy village of Phlegm just as the village people (you know, the construction worker, the cop, the Indian) were beset by the evil Warlock Grunwold, who had poisoned the town's cat population. Against your better judgment (and with the hope of fat loot to come), you agreed to try and bring the villain to justice. It wasn't a thing but you soon were confounded by a fiendish rune-deciphering puzzle, and by the time you figured out to solve it, you were furious as an underfed puppy. Bruised but unbroken, you readied your bardiche and marched forth into the darkness, where you were immediately captured by the Blood Knight Krampus's army of serpent-tongued ents. They hauled you before their master, but got bored and wandered off during his long gloating speech. Seeing your chance, you pushed the evil punk into his own gelatinous cube, and escaped to claim your reward from the grateful people of Wibbleford.
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