| Life was hard as a young man growing up in the city of Coney Island, and it became even harder when you had your heart stolen by a nubile, half-witted village idiot. You became a Thief, in order to steal it back (with interest). One fateful day, you were strolling through the quiet village of Pitlick when you met the town town crier. That worthy begged you to try and rescue the Earl of Flabbernathy's quarter-witted niece, who had been kidnapped by thieves. Having little to do except save the world from an evil sorcerer or whatever, you took the quest. You had a good handle on it until you got attacked by more gunslingers than you could handle. You were lucky to get out of there with your knee intact! Nevertheless, you fought your way through evil overlord's tower, dispatching gypsies left and right, and finally arrived at the throne room of the Ice Sorcerer Dave. After a long and dramatic battle, you plunged your crossbow into his calf. The entire dungeon unexpectedly began to collapse as soon as the evil has-been was dead, but you managed to escape with your life, and claimed your reward from the grateful people of Flansburgh.
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