| Due to a misunderstanding, your grandma enrolled you in Glameroth Wizard School at a young age. (You were actually just interested in pulling rabbits out of hats.) Still, you graduated with high marks, and set out on your first adventure as a full-fledged Wizard. One fateful day, you were strolling through the quiet village of Cheddarwurst when you met the town milkmaid. That worthy begged you to try and rescue the Grand Vizier's cunning grandmother, who had been kidnapped by jocks. Having little to do except save the world from an evil sorcerer or whatever, you took the quest. You were kickin' ass and chewin' bubblegum at first, but you didn't expect to have to bareknuckle-fight all those orcs. That bugbear picked the total worst time to eat your bardiche. You holed up in a small storeroom with a lockable door, and spent several weeks resting until your hitpoints were back to full. Then, keeping a careful eye out for accountants, you made your way to the lair of Dark Warlock Hasslehoff and the object of your quest. You thought he nearly had you when he summoned a foul gazebo to his aid, but you put paid to the beast with your pike and knocked the villain screaming into a succubus with a well-placed kick to the knee. At last, the treasure was yours!
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