| Life was hard as a young man growing up in the city of Crunkleford, and it became even harder when you had your heart stolen by a drunken, drunken village idiot. You became a Thief, in order to steal it back (with interest). You rode into the city of Lurkmoor, and met a shadowy stranger in a hooded cloak who was sitting in the corner of the local bar. He told you about the legendary Amethyst Gorilla of Burblegroat, which is rumored to be hidden in an ancient crypt near the village of Deaf Chicken, and promised you a hefty fee if you could bring it to him. Figuring he wouldn't offer you the quest if it weren't level-appropriate, you readily agreed. You had a good handle on it until you got your groin caught in a lava pool and had to gnaw it off to escape. Fortunately, you don't need that to be a hero... but you will sort of miss it. Bruised but unbroken, you readied your magic wand and marched forth into the darkness, where you were immediately captured by the Horror Giant Evilthing's army of bright-eyed barbarians. They hauled you before their master, but got bored and wandered off during his long gloating speech. Seeing your chance, you pushed the evil slack-jawed yokel into his own gelatinous cube, and escaped to claim your reward from the grateful people of Kilmer.
|