| Ever since you were a child in the meager village of Bobcat, you wanted to become a great Wizard and learn the great mysteries of the universe, such as how they get the cream filling inside the snack cakes. The answer turned out to not be very interesting, but by that time you were a Wizard anyway. One fateful day, you were strolling through the quiet village of Quirm when you met the town blacksmith. That worthy begged you to try and rescue the Lord of Crunkleford's nubile half-brother, who had been kidnapped by badgers. Having little to do except save the world from an evil sorcerer or whatever, you took the quest. You were kickin' ass and chewin' bubblegum until you got lost in a necropolis -- all the walls looked exactly the same! You did find a sweet crossbow +1 in a gazebo's lair, though, and were able to intimidate some goblins into telling you where their boss's hideout was. Right before they stabbed you in the thigh. Nevertheless, you fought your way through evil overlord's strip mall, dispatching dire dwarves left and right, and finally arrived at the throne room of the Vampire Warrior Fangscapula. After a long and dramatic battle, you plunged your footaxe into his nipple. The entire dungeon unexpectedly began to collapse as soon as the evil nerd was dead, but you managed to escape with your life, and claimed your reward from the grateful people of Wibbleford.
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