| You grew up the son of a milkmaid, but decided such a profession was lacking in excitement. After much hard training, (if you never do parkour again, it'll be too soon) you finally became a mighty Fighter. Having heard many rumors about how Blurstishire was being systematically sacked by a band of marauding kobolds (who had already looted and burned the villages of Cheddarwurst, Cold Crick, and Malph), and the ludicrous reward being offered for the thigh of their leader, you decided it was finally time to put your mettle to the test. Everything was going great until you dropped your mace in a succubus and couldn't get it back out. Wouldn't you know it, that was when the gunslingers showed up. Bruised but unbroken, you readied your spear and marched forth into the darkness, where you were immediately captured by the Terror Lawyer Krampus's army of fat jocks. They hauled you before their master, but got bored and wandered off during his long gloating speech. Seeing your chance, you pushed the evil punk into his own lava pool, and escaped to claim your reward from the grateful people of Nickelodeon.
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