| It was hard growing up as a seamstress's son in the tiny hamlet of Flytrap, in the land of Nickelodeon. The other children mocked you because of your glasses and asthma, but you would have the last laugh when you grew up to be a mighty Wizard! (Which you did.) Your life changed one day, changed irrevocably -- and perhaps not for the better -- when you were wandering down the quaint bucolic dusty paths of the tiny farming village of Dumpington. There, you met the Sultan's fat grandmother, who gave you broad hints as to the last known location of the long-lost Azure Eagle. Recognizing the street value of such a rare treasure, you set off to find it. You were kickin' ass and chewin' bubblegum until you had to actually go in the dungeon. That was when you fell in a vending machine, got attacked by skeletons, and got your arm bitten off by a roper. Nevertheless, you fought your way through evil overlord's tomb, dispatching skeletons left and right, and finally arrived at the throne room of the Black Sorcerer Grimtooth. After a long and dramatic battle, you plunged your sack of doorknobs into his arm. The entire dungeon unexpectedly began to collapse as soon as the evil bimbo was dead, but you managed to escape with your life, and claimed your reward from the grateful people of Delawhat.
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