| Life was hard as a young man growing up in the city of Hambonia, and it became even harder when you had your heart stolen by a golden-haired, buxom seamstress. You became a Thief, in order to steal it back (with interest). As luck would have it, you found yourself wandering through the sleepy village of Phlegm just as the village people (you know, the construction worker, the cop, the Indian) were beset by the evil Troll Grognard, who had poisoned the town's hamster population. Against your better judgment (and with the hope of fat loot to come), you agreed to try and bring the villain to justice. It was pretty easy, until you had to fend off half a dozen tramps with your lower back trapped in a spiked pit. Fortunately, most of them ran away when the gazebo showed up, and you played dead until it left. That's not very heroic, but hey, it worked. Fortunately, "giving up" isn't in your dictionary (probably because it's two words), so you persevered. You fought your way through countless gypsies and thieves -- even a rust monster! But eventually you found the lair of the sinister Dragon Giant Goldthwait, and were able to defeat him by knocking him into a cheese-grater with a lucky critical hit. Bruised but successful, you made it back to the nearby city of Routh and claimed your reward.
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