Ever since you were a child in the meager village of Cabbagetown, you wanted to become a great Wizard and learn the great mysteries of the universe, such as what happens to that missing sock. The answer turned out to not be very interesting, but by that time you were a Wizard anyway.

One fateful day, you were strolling through the quiet village of Malph when you met the town seamstress. That worthy begged you to try and rescue an inkeeper's sexy roommate, who had been kidnapped by lizardmen. Having little to do except save the world from an evil sorcerer or whatever, you took the quest.

It wasn't a thing until you dropped your knife in a antlion pit and couldn't get it back out. Wouldn't you know it, that was when the gunslingers showed up.

Bruised but unbroken, you readied your teddy bear and marched forth into the darkness, where you were immediately captured by the Black Wizard Mauldog's army of golden-haired gangsters. They hauled you before their master, but got bored and wandered off during his long gloating speech. Seeing your chance, you pushed the evil moron into his own lava pool, and escaped to claim your reward from the grateful people of Zevroozlchester.

Loot:+2 bardiche of bullywug slaying
ceramic boots of wimpy infravision
heavy butt-hat of frigid shark summoning

Another!