| Lacking the patience to be a Mage and the brawn to be a Fighter, you decided to be the next best thing: a professional chef. Sadly, your recipe for fried frozen stuffing was unappreciated by the plebes in your tiny hometown of Deaf Chicken, so you became a professional Thief instead. Your life changed one day, changed irrevocably -- and perhaps not for the better -- when you were wandering down the quaint bucolic dusty paths of the tiny farming village of Klatch. There, you met the town crier's skeletal homie, who gave you broad hints as to the last known location of the long-lost Azure Raccoon. Recognizing the street value of such a rare treasure, you set off to find it. You were doing really well until you got your thigh caught in a cheese-grater and had to gnaw it off to escape. Fortunately, you don't need that to be a hero... but you will sort of miss it. But, you put on your brave face, and made your way through the caverns and caves to where the Evil King Badfella held court over his horde of raven-haired desperados, and with uncountable swings of your longbow (and a few well-placed attacks of opportunity), you finally slew the horrible hick and rode back to town to claim your glory (and reward).
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