| You always knew that the village of Cold Crick wasn't big enough for you -- after all, it was just the one hut, and it was a small one. So, when you came of age, you decided to make a name for yourself as a Fighter. (You parents never gave you a name. You were hoping for "Brucie".) Your life changed one day, changed irrevocably -- and perhaps not for the better -- when you were wandering down the quaint bucolic dusty paths of the tiny farming village of Morpork. There, you met the barman's simple grandmother, who gave you broad hints as to the last known location of the long-lost Sapphire Elephant. Recognizing the street value of such a rare treasure, you set off to find it. There was no drama in the LBC at first, but you didn't expect to have to bareknuckle-fight all those jerks. That flesh golem picked the total worst time to eat your battleaxe. Bruised but unbroken, you readied your nunchuks and marched forth into the darkness, where you were immediately captured by the Dragon King Morgar's army of golden-haired tramps. They hauled you before their master, but got bored and wandered off during his long gloating speech. Seeing your chance, you pushed the evil buttface into his own sphere of annihilation, and escaped to claim your reward from the grateful people of Limberford.
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