| Life was hard as an orphan on the streets of Phlegm, without a nephew or girlfriend to teach you right from wrong. On the other hand, you wouldn't have grown up to be such a talented Thief otherwise. In the fiefdom of Flansburgh, in the unpleasant-smelling backwater of Flytrap, you found an inn with cheap honey wine and spent the night carousing. There, you heard a tale of the forgotten treasure of the Topaz Oceans, lost for ages during the time of the great cleansing. You decided to seek the treasure yourself, heedless of the literal mountain of skeletons of those who had tried before you. Everything was going great at first, but you didn't expect to have to bareknuckle-fight all those accountants. That weretiger picked the total worst time to eat your sack of doorknobs. But, unwilling to let that keep you from glory, you gritted your teeth and wielded your club, and cut your way through the hordes of thieves that stood between you and your goal. At last you found the lair of Skull Devil Lord Breakfibula, who quite unexpectedly turned out to be your long-lost uncle, but you killed the wuss anyway. And thus was the land freed from tyranny, and you earned yourself a fat reward!
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