| As a child, you exhibited a normal of unusual talents, including the ability to Split the Atom the first day you picked up a yo-yo. So your parents, creeped out by your paranormal abilities, enrolled you in Fandanzia Wizard School. Before long, you earned your Sigma of Topaz and could set out to make your fortune. One fateful day, you were strolling through the quiet village of Malph when you met the town farmhand. That worthy begged you to try and rescue the Duke of Blurstishire's golden-haired grandmother, who had been kidnapped by badgers. Having little to do except save the world from an evil sorcerer or whatever, you took the quest. It was pretty easy, but then you wandered into a room totally full of hobos, plus a githyanki, which is weird because you would have figured they'd have killed each other. They made a pretty good attempt at killing you, though. But, you put on your brave face, and made your way through the caverns and caves to where the Death Lord Grognard held court over his horde of sexy desperados, and with uncountable swings of your bardiche (and a few well-placed attacks of opportunity), you finally slew the horrible buttface and rode back to town to claim your glory (and reward).
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