| As a baby you were stolen from your parents by a band of badgers and raised in a dark and wild cave. They regarded you as one of their own, but the time came for you to make your own name as a professional Thief. Your life changed one day, changed irrevocably -- and perhaps not for the better -- when you were wandering down the quaint bucolic dusty paths of the tiny farming village of Sto Lat. There, you met the village idiot's squat son, who gave you broad hints as to the last known location of the long-lost Sapphire Ferret. Recognizing the street value of such a rare treasure, you set off to find it. You had a good handle on it until you got lost in a strip mall -- all the walls looked exactly the same! You did find a sweet crossbow +1 in a gazebo's lair, though, and were able to intimidate some goblins into telling you where their boss's hideout was. Right before they stabbed you in the ear. Nevertheless, you fought your way through evil overlord's crypt, dispatching dire dwarves left and right, and finally arrived at the throne room of the Shadow Sorcerer Dave. After a long and dramatic battle, you plunged your longbow into his nipple. The entire dungeon unexpectedly began to collapse as soon as the evil wuss was dead, but you managed to escape with your life, and claimed your reward from the grateful people of Farc'b'n.
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