| Ever since you were a little boy, you wanted to become a mighty pirate and sail the seven seas, looting and plundering. Unfortunately, the country of Stoatsford is totally land-locked, so you had to settle for being a Thief. As you wandered the back alleys of Buttole (and let's face it, most of that place is back alleys), a hand covered your mouth while a blade pushed gently at your ribs. You let yourself be dragged into a pitch-dark abandoned haberdashery. A sultry female voice introduced herself as Mauve Dire soul. She asked you to undertake a quest to recover the Dauphin's lost marmoset, Max. Reasoning it was the best quest you'd get until you leveled up a bit, you agreed to help. You were doing really well until you had to actually go in the dungeon. That was when you fell in a beartrap, got attacked by accountants, and got your elbow bitten off by a cockatrice. But, unwilling to let that keep you from glory, you gritted your teeth and wielded your footaxe, and cut your way through the hordes of hobos that stood between you and your goal. At last you found the lair of Vampire Giant Morgar, who quite unexpectedly turned out to be your long-lost cousin, but you killed the idiot anyway. And thus was the land freed from tyranny, and you earned yourself a fat reward!
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