| Even though you were a red-headed child, you always wanted to become a Fighter, like your father and his father before him. You got your wish when your hometown of Madlib was attacked by a horde of Dragon Crocodiles. You got your elbow handed to you, but it cemented your desire to fight. As luck would have it, as you were passing through the land of Febreezia, you stopped at the inn in the quiet hamlet of Pig-in-a-Poke, and heard the local chambermaid talking about the ancient tomb that the town had (perhaps ill-advisedly) been built next to, and the fantastic Azure Idol of Hasslehoff that was purported to be hidden there. Without bothering to ask why nobody had managed to recover it already, you set out on your very first quest. You were kickin' ass and chewin' bubblegum until you had to fend off half a dozen gunslingers with your skull trapped in a sphere of annihilation. Fortunately, most of them ran away when the periwinkle slaad showed up, and you played dead until it left. That's not very heroic, but hey, it worked. Nevertheless, you fought your way through evil overlord's dungeon, dispatching desperados left and right, and finally arrived at the throne room of the Fire Necromancer Baaaal. After a long and dramatic battle, you plunged your brass knuckles into his groin. The entire dungeon unexpectedly began to collapse as soon as the evil douchewad was dead, but you managed to escape with your life, and claimed your reward from the grateful people of Calamaria.
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