| Inspired by the great deeds of your mother, Gray Burns, you knew from an early age you wanted to be a Fighter. After a scant 8 years of training, you were finally ready to seek your fortune in the large, indifferent world. As luck would have it, as you were passing through the land of Bacon, you stopped at the inn in the quiet hamlet of Spazmotic, and heard the local barber talking about the ancient sewer that the town had (perhaps ill-advisedly) been built next to, and the fantastic Amethyst Idol of Poisonsword that was purported to be hidden there. Without bothering to ask why nobody had managed to recover it already, you set out on your very first quest. You weren't having any problems until you had to fend off half a dozen lizardmen with your nipple trapped in a awkward conversation. Fortunately, most of them ran away when the mind flayer showed up, and you played dead until it left. That's not very heroic, but hey, it worked. Bruised but unbroken, you readied your teddy bear and marched forth into the darkness, where you were immediately captured by the Vampire Knight Diabolico's army of drunken hobos. They hauled you before their master, but got bored and wandered off during his long gloating speech. Seeing your chance, you pushed the evil douchenugget into his own swinging razor-sharp pendulum, and escaped to claim your reward from the grateful people of Bale.
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