| At an early age, you were apprenticed to the Great Wizard Earl, but you grew tired of having to groom the floors and filter the alchemical equipment day in and day out. So, you stole a spellbook and took off to become a Wizard on your own. In the fiefdom of Fandanzia, in the unpleasant-smelling backwater of Dumpington, you found an inn with cheap sack and spent the night carousing. There, you heard a tale of the forgotten treasure of the Emerald Forests, lost for ages during the time of the great fire. You decided to seek the treasure yourself, heedless of the literal mountain of skeletons of those who had tried before you. You were kickin' ass and chewin' bubblegum until you got attacked by more gangsters than you could handle. You were lucky to get out of there with your shoulder intact! Nevertheless, you fought your way through evil overlord's tomb, dispatching skeletons left and right, and finally arrived at the throne room of the Evil Sorcerer Battlestork. After a long and dramatic battle, you plunged your Greyhawk Army knife into his eye. The entire dungeon unexpectedly began to collapse as soon as the evil douchewad was dead, but you managed to escape with your life, and claimed your reward from the grateful people of Farnsworthington.
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