| Ever since you were a little boy, you wanted to become a mighty pirate and sail the seven seas, looting and plundering. Unfortunately, the country of Routh is totally land-locked, so you had to settle for being a Thief. As you wandered the back alleys of Sudoku (and let's face it, most of that place is back alleys), a hand covered your mouth while a blade pushed gently at your ribs. You let yourself be dragged into a pitch-dark abandoned convenience store. A sultry female voice introduced herself as Pine Drake wing. She asked you to undertake a quest to recover a knight's lost goldfish, Mr. Snuggles. Reasoning it was the best quest you'd get until you leveled up a bit, you agreed to help. It wasn't a thing until you got lost in a tomb -- all the walls looked exactly the same! You did find a sweet teddy bear +1 in a cockatrice's lair, though, and were able to intimidate some indigent native tribesmen into telling you where their boss's hideout was. Right before they stabbed you in the giblets. You holed up in a small storeroom with a lockable door, and spent several weeks resting until your hitpoints were back to full. Then, keeping a careful eye out for goblins, you made your way to the lair of Ice Sorcerer Diablolo and the object of your quest. You thought he nearly had you when he summoned a foul gazebo to his aid, but you put paid to the beast with your flail and knocked the villain screaming into a gelatinous cube with a well-placed kick to the arm. At last, the treasure was yours!
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