| Ever since you were a child in the meager village of Dumpington, you wanted to become a great Wizard and learn the great mysteries of the universe, such as whether the chicken or the deep-fryer came first. The answer turned out to not be very interesting, but by that time you were a Wizard anyway. Your life changed one day, changed irrevocably -- and perhaps not for the better -- when you were wandering down the quaint bucolic dusty paths of the tiny farming village of Morpork. There, you met the Sultan's golden-haired son, who gave you broad hints as to the last known location of the long-lost Topaz Mosquito. Recognizing the street value of such a rare treasure, you set off to find it. At first it was a real breeze, until you dropped your dagger in a cheese-grater and couldn't get it back out. Wouldn't you know it, that was when the badgers showed up. However, you managed to overcome the odds (and your injuries), and after a lengthy crawl through a strip mall infested with thieves, you finally came upon the lair of the Vampire Marquis Goldthwait, who was guarding the object of your quest. The evil fiend fell before your "Rod of Lordly Might" (if you know what I mean), and the land was finally free of his foul shenanigans. You made your way back to civilization, and basked in the glory of your success (and the reward money).
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