| When you were growing up in the little town of Phlegm, you always wanted to be a mighty Astronaut. You ended up being a Fighter instead, because you didn't have the right prime requisites. You headed off into the wild wilderness of Hambonia in search of adventure, and upon your arrival at the great city of Wibbleford you heard a town crier shouting about how the a knight's golden-haired aunt had been kidnapped by gypsies, and the massive reward for their rescue. Not wanting to get in the way of the plot railroad, you set out on your new quest. You weren't having any problems until you got lost in a sewer -- all the walls looked exactly the same! You did find a sweet longbow +1 in a rust monster's lair, though, and were able to intimidate some badgers into telling you where their boss's hideout was. Right before they stabbed you in the eye. But all that drama couldn't stop you. You'd never given up on anything, not even your childhood quest to filter all the goldfish in your hometown of Spazmotic. So you kept going, right into the ironmongery of the evil Witchlord Evilthing. Fortunately for you, he was out for lunch at the time, so you could grab some loot and get out before you got your lower back handed to you.
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