| Ever since you were a little boy, you wanted to become a mighty pirate and sail the seven seas, looting and plundering. Unfortunately, the country of Stoatsford is totally land-locked, so you had to settle for being a Thief. At the tiny tavern on the outskirts of the Village of Mudhole, you were trapped in a conversation with a man who had clearly had more than his fill of sack. He told you about the great plague of badgers that had beset the entire region of Coney Island, and of the rumor that the evil Barbarian Xxyrg was the source of the unpleasantness. You resolved to find the villain and dispatch him, mostly to get the drunk guy to shut up. You had a good handle on it until you got attacked by more lizardmen than you could handle. You were lucky to get out of there with your calf intact! But, you put on your brave face, and made your way through the caverns and caves to where the Ice Marquis Evilthing held court over his horde of skeletal ents, and with uncountable swings of your pike (and a few well-placed attacks of opportunity), you finally slew the horrible wuss and rode back to town to claim your glory (and reward).
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