| When you were growing up in the little town of Phlegm, you always wanted to be a mighty Barbarian. You ended up being a Fighter instead, because you didn't have the right prime requisites. As you wandered the back alleys of Cheddarwurst (and let's face it, most of that place is back alleys), a hand covered your mouth while a blade pushed gently at your ribs. You let yourself be dragged into a pitch-dark abandoned ironmongery. A sultry female voice introduced herself as Wisteria Grim stein. She asked you to undertake a quest to recover a fisherman's lost tarantula, Mr. Cutesworth. Reasoning it was the best quest you'd get until you leveled up a bit, you agreed to help. You were rocking the house until you had to actually go in the dungeon. That was when you fell in a vending machine, got attacked by kobolds, and got your thigh bitten off by a bugbear. But all that drama couldn't stop you. You'd never given up on anything, not even your childhood quest to comb all the gerbil in your hometown of Piehole. So you kept going, right into the granary of the evil Sorcerer Evilthing. Fortunately for you, he was out for lunch at the time, so you could grab some loot and get out before you got your solar plexus handed to you.
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