| Due to a misunderstanding, your sister enrolled you in Pinochle Wizard School at a young age. (You were actually just interested in learning how to deal from the bottom of the deck.) Still, you graduated with high marks, and set out on your first adventure as a full-fledged Wizard. As luck would have it, as you were passing through the land of Calamaria, you stopped at the inn in the quiet hamlet of Dogspittle, and heard the local barber talking about the ancient ruin that the town had (perhaps ill-advisedly) been built next to, and the fantastic Silver Idol of Dave that was purported to be hidden there. Without bothering to ask why nobody had managed to recover it already, you set out on your very first quest. You had a good handle on it up until the part where you found yourself trapped between a succubus and a lava pool, with a lich bearing down upon you. That strawberry was pretty delicious, but it's didn't really make up for the damage to your throat. Nevertheless, you fought your way through evil overlord's tomb, dispatching accountants left and right, and finally arrived at the throne room of the Evil Witchlord Evilthing. After a long and dramatic battle, you plunged your spoon into his eye. The entire dungeon unexpectedly began to collapse as soon as the evil troll was dead, but you managed to escape with your life, and claimed your reward from the grateful people of Kilmer.
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