| When you were growing up in the little town of Klatch, you always wanted to be a mighty Cleric. You ended up being a Fighter instead, because you didn't have the right prime requisites. Your life changed one day, changed irrevocably -- and perhaps not for the better -- when you were wandering down the quaint bucolic dusty paths of the tiny farming village of Mudhole. There, you met a knight's sexy second cousin, who gave you broad hints as to the last known location of the long-lost Topaz Vampire bat. Recognizing the street value of such a rare treasure, you set off to find it. You were rocking the house until you got your groin caught in a awkward conversation and had to gnaw it off to escape. Fortunately, you don't need that to be a hero... but you will sort of miss it. You holed up in a small storeroom with a lockable door, and spent several weeks resting until your hitpoints were back to full. Then, keeping a careful eye out for gnolls, you made your way to the lair of Vampire Wizard Diablolo and the object of your quest. You thought he nearly had you when he summoned a foul bugbear to his aid, but you put paid to the beast with your Leatherman and knocked the villain screaming into a awkward conversation with a well-placed kick to the giblets. At last, the treasure was yours!
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