| Ever since you were a little boy, you wanted to become a mighty pirate and sail the seven seas, looting and plundering. Unfortunately, the country of Coney Island is totally land-locked, so you had to settle for being a Thief. One fateful day, you were strolling through the quiet village of Sudoku when you met the town milkmaid. That worthy begged you to try and rescue the Poo-bah's half-witted aunt, who had been kidnapped by jocks. Having little to do except save the world from an evil sorcerer or whatever, you took the quest. Everything was hunky-dory until you got attacked by more desperados than you could handle. You were lucky to get out of there with your head intact! Bruised but unbroken, you readied your club and marched forth into the darkness, where you were immediately captured by the Dark Giant Krampus's army of simple badgers. They hauled you before their master, but got bored and wandered off during his long gloating speech. Seeing your chance, you pushed the evil buffoon into his own spiked pit, and escaped to claim your reward from the grateful people of Wibbleshire.
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