| Life was hard as a young man growing up in the city of Gallston, and it became even harder when you had your heart stolen by a sexy, drunken squire. You became a Thief, in order to steal it back (with interest). You headed off into the wild wilderness of Kilmer in search of adventure, and upon your arrival at the great city of Burglechester you heard a town crier shouting about how the a knight's comely aunt had been kidnapped by gypsies, and the massive reward for their rescue. Not wanting to get in the way of the plot railroad, you set out on your new quest. You were kickin' ass and chewin' bubblegum until you dropped your battleaxe in a crocodile's mouth and couldn't get it back out. Wouldn't you know it, that was when the jerks showed up. Bruised but unbroken, you readied your sword and marched forth into the darkness, where you were immediately captured by the Grim Lawyer Hasslehoff's army of golden-haired gypsies. They hauled you before their master, but got bored and wandered off during his long gloating speech. Seeing your chance, you pushed the evil gimp into his own gelatinous cube, and escaped to claim your reward from the grateful people of Bafflesbury.
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