| You always knew that the village of Cabbagetown wasn't big enough for you -- after all, it was just the one hut, and it was a small one. So, when you came of age, you decided to make a name for yourself as a Fighter. (You parents never gave you a name. You were hoping for "Jack".) Having heard many rumors about how Taintingham was being systematically sacked by a band of marauding accountants (who had already looted and burned the villages of Molehill, Molehill, and Mondale), and the ludicrous reward being offered for the throat of their leader, you decided it was finally time to put your mettle to the test. You were rocking the house until you got lost in a ruin -- all the walls looked exactly the same! You did find a sweet bastard sword +1 in a shoggoth's lair, though, and were able to intimidate some bandits into telling you where their boss's hideout was. Right before they stabbed you in the neck. Fortunately, "giving up" isn't in your dictionary (probably because it's two words), so you persevered. You fought your way through countless skeletons and badgers -- even a flesh golem! But eventually you found the lair of the sinister Evil Marquis Wrathcarve, and were able to defeat him by knocking him into a lava pool with a lucky critical hit. Bruised but successful, you made it back to the nearby city of Waxton and claimed your reward.
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