| As a child, you exhibited a normal of unusual talents, including the ability to Rock the Baby the first day you picked up a yo-yo. So your parents, creeped out by your paranormal abilities, enrolled you in Claremont Wizard School. Before long, you earned your Beta of Ruby and could set out to make your fortune. You headed off into the wild wilderness of Wibbleford in search of adventure, and upon your arrival at the great city of Blurstishire you heard a town crier shouting about how the the blacksmith's nubile niece had been kidnapped by desperados, and the massive reward for their rescue. Not wanting to get in the way of the plot railroad, you set out on your new quest. It wasn't a thing until you got attacked by more ents than you could handle. You were lucky to get out of there with your ear intact! You holed up in a small storeroom with a lockable door, and spent several weeks resting until your hitpoints were back to full. Then, keeping a careful eye out for orcs, you made your way to the lair of Dark Overlord Baaaal and the object of your quest. You thought he nearly had you when he summoned a foul hellhound to his aid, but you put paid to the beast with your sack of doorknobs and knocked the villain screaming into a vending machine with a well-placed kick to the shoulder. At last, the treasure was yours!
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