| It was hard growing up as a village idiot's son in the tiny hamlet of Cold Crick, in the land of Taintingham. The other children mocked you because of your glasses and asthma, but you would have the last laugh when you grew up to be a mighty Wizard! (Which you did.) In the fiefdom of Pinochle, in the unpleasant-smelling backwater of Molehill, you found an inn with cheap sack and spent the night carousing. There, you heard a tale of the forgotten treasure of the Gold Forests, lost for ages during the time of the great clusterbugger. You decided to seek the treasure yourself, heedless of the literal mountain of skeletons of those who had tried before you. At first it was a real breeze, but you soon were confounded by a fiendish depants-the-wizard puzzle, and by the time you figured out to solve it, you were incensed as an underfed gerbil. Nevertheless, you fought your way through evil overlord's tomb, dispatching dark elves left and right, and finally arrived at the throne room of the Evil Devil Lord Diabolico. After a long and dramatic battle, you plunged your bardiche into his eye. The entire dungeon unexpectedly began to collapse as soon as the evil hayseed was dead, but you managed to escape with your life, and claimed your reward from the grateful people of Morcestecershire.
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