| Ever since you were a little boy, you wanted to become a mighty pirate and sail the seven seas, looting and plundering. Unfortunately, the country of Blurstishire is totally land-locked, so you had to settle for being a Thief. As luck would have it, you found yourself wandering through the sleepy village of Cold Crick just as the village people (you know, the construction worker, the cop, the Indian) were beset by the evil Warlock Grognard, who had poisoned the town's Vietnamese pot-bellied pig population. Against your better judgment (and with the hope of fat loot to come), you agreed to try and bring the villain to justice. It wasn't a thing up until the part where you found yourself trapped between a gelatinous cube and a crocodile's mouth, with a beholder bearing down upon you. That strawberry was pretty delicious, but it's didn't really make up for the damage to your neck. But, you put on your brave face, and made your way through the caverns and caves to where the Dark Sorcerer Englebert held court over his horde of skeletal desperados, and with uncountable swings of your 10' pole (and a few well-placed attacks of opportunity), you finally slew the horrible creep and rode back to town to claim your glory (and reward).
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