| Ever since you were a little boy, you wanted to become a mighty pirate and sail the seven seas, looting and plundering. Unfortunately, the country of Goldthwaitia is totally land-locked, so you had to settle for being a Thief. In the fiefdom of Hamonrye, in the unpleasant-smelling backwater of Cabbagetown, you found an inn with cheap jell-o shots and spent the night carousing. There, you heard a tale of the forgotten treasure of the Ruby Mountains, lost for ages during the time of the great rain of %pluralanimals. You decided to seek the treasure yourself, heedless of the literal mountain of skeletons of those who had tried before you. You had a good handle on it up until the part where you found yourself trapped between a antlion pit and a swinging razor-sharp pendulum, with a horse bearing down upon you. That strawberry was pretty delicious, but it's didn't really make up for the damage to your elbow. However, you managed to overcome the odds (and your injuries), and after a lengthy crawl through a strip mall infested with kobolds, you finally came upon the lair of the Frost Warlock Grimtooth, who was guarding the object of your quest. The evil fiend fell before your knife, and the land was finally free of his foul shenanigans. You made your way back to civilization, and basked in the glory of your success (and the reward money).
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