| Lacking the patience to be a Mage and the brawn to be a Fighter, you decided to be the next best thing: a professional chef. Sadly, your recipe for blanched shortcake was unappreciated by the plebes in your tiny hometown of Mondale, so you became a professional Thief instead. Having heard many rumors about how Blurstishire was being systematically sacked by a band of marauding jocks (who had already looted and burned the villages of Hamlet, Morpork, and Phlegm), and the ludicrous reward being offered for the arse of their leader, you decided it was finally time to put your mettle to the test. You were kickin' ass and chewin' bubblegum until you had to fend off half a dozen skeletons with your groin trapped in a sphere of annihilation. Fortunately, most of them ran away when the roper showed up, and you played dead until it left. That's not very heroic, but hey, it worked. Bruised but unbroken, you readied your 10' pole and marched forth into the darkness, where you were immediately captured by the Evil Sorcerer Grognard's army of drunken jocks. They hauled you before their master, but got bored and wandered off during his long gloating speech. Seeing your chance, you pushed the evil buttface into his own swinging razor-sharp pendulum, and escaped to claim your reward from the grateful people of Nickelodeon.
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