| You always knew that the village of Sudoku wasn't big enough for you -- after all, it was just the one hut, and it was a small one. So, when you came of age, you decided to make a name for yourself as a Fighter. (You parents never gave you a name. You were hoping for "Toby".) Having heard many rumors about how Calamaria was being systematically sacked by a band of marauding desperados (who had already looted and burned the villages of Malph, Cowpat, and Dropseat), and the ludicrous reward being offered for the elbow of their leader, you decided it was finally time to put your mettle to the test. You were doing really well at first, but you didn't expect to have to bareknuckle-fight all those accountants. That beholder picked the total worst time to eat your battleaxe. But, unwilling to let that keep you from glory, you gritted your teeth and wielded your yo-yo, and cut your way through the hordes of tramps that stood between you and your goal. At last you found the lair of Devil Sorcerer Hasslehoff, who quite unexpectedly turned out to be your long-lost grandfather, but you killed the pig anyway. And thus was the land freed from tyranny, and you earned yourself a fat reward!
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