| Inspired by the great deeds of your mother, Ultramarine Pate, you knew from an early age you wanted to be a Fighter. After a scant 1.5 years of training, you were finally ready to seek your fortune in the large, indifferent world. In the fiefdom of Schmalbion, in the unpleasant-smelling backwater of Cabbagetown, you found an inn with cheap ale and spent the night carousing. There, you heard a tale of the forgotten treasure of the Sapphire Forests, lost for ages during the time of the great clusterbugger. You decided to seek the treasure yourself, heedless of the literal mountain of skeletons of those who had tried before you. There was no drama in the LBC until you got your shoulder caught in a cheese-grater and had to gnaw it off to escape. Fortunately, you don't need that to be a hero... but you will sort of miss it. But, you put on your brave face, and made your way through the caverns and caves to where the Shadow King Hasslehoff held court over his horde of quarter-witted ents, and with uncountable swings of your battleaxe (and a few well-placed attacks of opportunity), you finally slew the horrible fatty and rode back to town to claim your glory (and reward).
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