| Ever since you were a little boy, you wanted to become a mighty pirate and sail the seven seas, looting and plundering. Unfortunately, the country of Bafflesbury is totally land-locked, so you had to settle for being a Thief. Your life changed one day, changed irrevocably -- and perhaps not for the better -- when you were wandering down the quaint bucolic dusty paths of the tiny farming village of Molehill. There, you met the barman's homely half-brother, who gave you broad hints as to the last known location of the long-lost Ruby Puppy. Recognizing the street value of such a rare treasure, you set off to find it. You were kickin' ass and chewin' bubblegum until you had to fend off half a dozen jerks with your knee trapped in a antlion pit. Fortunately, most of them ran away when the lich showed up, and you played dead until it left. That's not very heroic, but hey, it worked. However, you managed to overcome the odds (and your injuries), and after a lengthy crawl through a ruin infested with lizardmen, you finally came upon the lair of the Frost Wizard Cramradius, who was guarding the object of your quest. The evil fiend fell before your yo-yo, and the land was finally free of his foul shenanigans. You made your way back to civilization, and basked in the glory of your success (and the reward money).
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