| Life was hard as a young man growing up in the city of Schmalbion, and it became even harder when you had your heart stolen by a fat, underdeveloped chambermaid. You became a Thief, in order to steal it back (with interest). In the fiefdom of Bacon, in the unpleasant-smelling backwater of Frog, you found an inn with cheap firewater and spent the night carousing. There, you heard a tale of the forgotten treasure of the Gold Canyons, lost for ages during the time of the great unpleasantness. You decided to seek the treasure yourself, heedless of the literal mountain of skeletons of those who had tried before you. You had a good handle on it until you got attacked by more lizardmen than you could handle. You were lucky to get out of there with your bung intact! Bruised but unbroken, you readied your spear and marched forth into the darkness, where you were immediately captured by the Blood Lord Dave's army of raven-haired jocks. They hauled you before their master, but got bored and wandered off during his long gloating speech. Seeing your chance, you pushed the evil tard into his own meat grinder, and escaped to claim your reward from the grateful people of Blurstishire.
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