| When you were growing up in the little town of Dogspittle, you always wanted to be a mighty Astronaut. You ended up being a Fighter instead, because you didn't have the right prime requisites. Your life changed one day, changed irrevocably -- and perhaps not for the better -- when you were wandering down the quaint bucolic dusty paths of the tiny farming village of Rusty Nail. There, you met the village idiot's simple daughter, who gave you broad hints as to the last known location of the long-lost Emerald Monkey. Recognizing the street value of such a rare treasure, you set off to find it. You were doing really well until you had to fend off half a dozen gunslingers with your kidney trapped in a cookie jar. Fortunately, most of them ran away when the shoggoth showed up, and you played dead until it left. That's not very heroic, but hey, it worked. Fortunately, "giving up" isn't in your dictionary (probably because it's two words), so you persevered. You fought your way through countless gypsies and accountants -- even a roper! But eventually you found the lair of the sinister Devil Knight Unpleasantor, and were able to defeat him by knocking him into a succubus with a lucky critical hit. Bruised but successful, you made it back to the nearby city of Hamonrye and claimed your reward.
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