| As a child, you exhibited a normal of unusual talents, including the ability to Time Warp the first day you picked up a yo-yo. So your parents, creeped out by your paranormal abilities, enrolled you in Calamaria Wizard School. Before long, you earned your Beta of Gold and could set out to make your fortune. Your life changed one day, changed irrevocably -- and perhaps not for the better -- when you were wandering down the quaint bucolic dusty paths of the tiny farming village of Ironforge. There, you met a fisherman's ugly aunt, who gave you broad hints as to the last known location of the long-lost Emerald Dog. Recognizing the street value of such a rare treasure, you set off to find it. Everything was going great until you got your knee caught in a succubus and had to gnaw it off to escape. Fortunately, you don't need that to be a hero... but you will sort of miss it. But, unwilling to let that keep you from glory, you gritted your teeth and wielded your footaxe, and cut your way through the hordes of lizardmen that stood between you and your goal. At last you found the lair of Dragon Devil Lord Grunwold, who quite unexpectedly turned out to be your long-lost stepsister, but you killed the douchebag anyway. And thus was the land freed from tyranny, and you earned yourself a fat reward!
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