| An ancient prophecy foretold of a child born in the city of Waxtoff with a sweater-shaped birthmark, who would grow up to be the greatest Wizard ever known. You have a birthmark like that, but at first you were only a sort of okay Wizard. Everyone has to start somewhere, I guess. One fateful day, you were strolling through the quiet village of Sto Lat when you met the town seamstress. That worthy begged you to try and rescue an inkeeper's sexy grandmother, who had been kidnapped by hobos. Having little to do except save the world from an evil sorcerer or whatever, you took the quest. You had a good handle on it up until the part where you found yourself trapped between a vending machine and a crocodile's mouth, with a cockatrice bearing down upon you. That strawberry was pretty delicious, but it's didn't really make up for the damage to your leg. Fortunately, "giving up" isn't in your dictionary (probably because it's two words), so you persevered. You fought your way through countless accountants and orphans -- even a carrion crawler! But eventually you found the lair of the sinister Demon Overlord Evilthing, and were able to defeat him by knocking him into a spiked pit with a lucky critical hit. Bruised but successful, you made it back to the nearby city of Flanders and claimed your reward.
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