| Life was hard as an orphan on the streets of Pittsburgh, without a nephew or mom to teach you right from wrong. On the other hand, you wouldn't have grown up to be such a talented Thief otherwise. Your life changed one day, changed irrevocably -- and perhaps not for the better -- when you were wandering down the quaint bucolic dusty paths of the tiny farming village of Morpork. There, you met a charwoman's raven-haired daughter, who gave you broad hints as to the last known location of the long-lost Ruby Eagle. Recognizing the street value of such a rare treasure, you set off to find it. At first it was a real breeze, but then you wandered into a room totally full of gangsters, plus a roper, which is weird because you would have figured they'd have killed each other. They made a pretty good attempt at killing you, though. Fortunately, "giving up" isn't in your dictionary (probably because it's two words), so you persevered. You fought your way through countless goblins and tramps -- even a bulette! But eventually you found the lair of the sinister Ice Warrior Murdersacrum, and were able to defeat him by knocking him into a vending machine with a lucky critical hit. Bruised but successful, you made it back to the nearby city of Bale and claimed your reward.
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