| You always knew that the village of Morpork wasn't big enough for you -- after all, it was just the one hut, and it was a small one. So, when you came of age, you decided to make a name for yourself as a Fighter. (You parents never gave you a name. You were hoping for "Malvolio".) You rode into the city of Glameroth, and met a shadowy stranger in a hooded cloak who was sitting in the corner of the local bar. He told you about the legendary Azure Marmot of Goldthwaitia, which is rumored to be hidden in an ancient dungeon near the village of Spazmotic, and promised you a hefty fee if you could bring it to him. Figuring he wouldn't offer you the quest if it weren't level-appropriate, you readily agreed. Everything was hunky-dory until you had to actually go in the dungeon. That was when you fell in a sphere of annihilation, got attacked by hobos, and got your thigh bitten off by a weretiger. Bruised but unbroken, you readied your sack of doorknobs and marched forth into the darkness, where you were immediately captured by the Vampire Barbarian Badfella's army of tattooed jocks. They hauled you before their master, but got bored and wandered off during his long gloating speech. Seeing your chance, you pushed the evil fatty into his own cookie jar, and escaped to claim your reward from the grateful people of New Brunswick.
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