| Life was hard as a young man growing up in the city of Kilmer, and it became even harder when you had your heart stolen by a golden-haired, homely blacksmith. You became a Thief, in order to steal it back (with interest). As luck would have it, as you were passing through the land of New Brunswick, you stopped at the inn in the quiet hamlet of Whacking, and heard the local blacksmith talking about the ancient pyramid that the town had (perhaps ill-advisedly) been built next to, and the fantastic Sapphire Idol of Diabolico that was purported to be hidden there. Without bothering to ask why nobody had managed to recover it already, you set out on your very first quest. There was no drama in the LBC until you had to fend off half a dozen dark elves with your thigh trapped in a gelatinous cube. Fortunately, most of them ran away when the hellhound showed up, and you played dead until it left. That's not very heroic, but hey, it worked. However, you managed to overcome the odds (and your injuries), and after a lengthy crawl through a pyramid infested with orcs, you finally came upon the lair of the Dragon Wizard Hatepenguin, who was guarding the object of your quest. The evil fiend fell before your "Rod of Lordly Might" (if you know what I mean), and the land was finally free of his foul shenanigans. You made your way back to civilization, and basked in the glory of your success (and the reward money).
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