| Ever since you were a child in the meager village of Dropseat, you wanted to become a great Wizard and learn the great mysteries of the universe, such as whether the chicken or the deep-fryer came first. The answer turned out to not be very interesting, but by that time you were a Wizard anyway. As luck would have it, you found yourself wandering through the sleepy village of Pitlick just as the village people (you know, the construction worker, the cop, the Indian) were beset by the evil Warlock Morgar, who had poisoned the town's tarantula population. Against your better judgment (and with the hope of fat loot to come), you agreed to try and bring the villain to justice. It wasn't a thing until you dropped your halberd in a cookie jar and couldn't get it back out. Wouldn't you know it, that was when the gnolls showed up. However, you knew you'd never be a mighty adventurer if you let a little setback like that stop you, and damned if you were going to end up a bard in some crummy backwater like Whacking or Mondale. So you pressed onward until you discovered the lair of the Evil Witchlord Diabolico, and after a long and dramatic battle you successfully put an end to his evil ways. And then you looted the hell out of his hideout.
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