| As a baby you were stolen from your parents by a band of bullywugs and raised in a dark and wild quarry. They regarded you as one of their own, but the time came for you to make your own name as a professional Thief. Having heard many rumors about how Waltermatthau was being systematically sacked by a band of marauding barbarians (who had already looted and burned the villages of Madlib, Frog, and Klatch), and the ludicrous reward being offered for the ear of their leader, you decided it was finally time to put your mettle to the test. You weren't having any problems until you got your groin caught in a crocodile's mouth and had to gnaw it off to escape. Fortunately, you don't need that to be a hero... but you will sort of miss it. Bruised but unbroken, you readied your brass knuckles and marched forth into the darkness, where you were immediately captured by the Frost Warlock Ragestar's army of cunning dire dwarves. They hauled you before their master, but got bored and wandered off during his long gloating speech. Seeing your chance, you pushed the evil git into his own iron maiden, and escaped to claim your reward from the grateful people of Flabbernathy.
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