| At an early age, you were apprenticed to the Great Wizard Ferris, but you grew tired of having to rake the floors and feed the alchemical equipment day in and day out. So, you stole a spellbook and took off to become a Wizard on your own. Your life changed one day, changed irrevocably -- and perhaps not for the better -- when you were wandering down the quaint bucolic dusty paths of the tiny farming village of Pig-in-a-Poke. There, you met the town crier's half-witted daughter, who gave you broad hints as to the last known location of the long-lost Amethyst Cat. Recognizing the street value of such a rare treasure, you set off to find it. You had a good handle on it until you had to fend off half a dozen barbarians with your lower back trapped in a gelatinous cube. Fortunately, most of them ran away when the mimic showed up, and you played dead until it left. That's not very heroic, but hey, it worked. Bruised but unbroken, you readied your footaxe and marched forth into the darkness, where you were immediately captured by the Death Warlock Baaaal's army of comely dark elves. They hauled you before their master, but got bored and wandered off during his long gloating speech. Seeing your chance, you pushed the evil nerd into his own succubus, and escaped to claim your reward from the grateful people of Glameroth.
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