| Lacking the patience to be a Mage and the brawn to be a Fighter, you decided to be the next best thing: a professional chef. Sadly, your recipe for braised deep-fried broccoli was unappreciated by the plebes in your tiny hometown of Cabbagetown, so you became a professional Thief instead. Having heard many rumors about how Prefectford was being systematically sacked by a band of marauding desperados (who had already looted and burned the villages of Quirm, Madlib, and Frog), and the ludicrous reward being offered for the foot of their leader, you decided it was finally time to put your mettle to the test. At first it was a real breeze, up until the part where you found yourself trapped between a iron maiden and a iron maiden, with a carrion crawler bearing down upon you. That strawberry was pretty delicious, but it's didn't really make up for the damage to your elbow. You holed up in a small storeroom with a lockable door, and spent several weeks resting until your hitpoints were back to full. Then, keeping a careful eye out for barbarians, you made your way to the lair of Blood Sorcerer Krampus and the object of your quest. You thought he nearly had you when he summoned a foul mimic to his aid, but you put paid to the beast with your handaxe and knocked the villain screaming into a cheese-grater with a well-placed kick to the head. At last, the treasure was yours!
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